Category: Something In The Milk Ain’t Clean
Chrissy Teigen Threatens Legal Action Against Michael Costello And Walks Away From “Safely” Brand Launched With Kris Jenner
Yesterday we learned that professional troll and seasoned death-wisher Chrissy Teigen and her team had accused fashion designer and former Project Runway contestant Michael Costello of sloppily sweatshop-stitched shenanigans when she claimed the bullying DMs he’d maintained she’d sent to him, threatening to blacklist him from the industry over his alleged racism (see below), were about as authentic as a Kardashian’s latest face (Rood!) and the details under scrutiny were laid out in that post.
A Man’s Discovery Of Shrimp Tails In His Cinnamon Toast Crunch Has Twitter Enthralled
It’s a tale as old as time — Boy meets world. Boy becomes a kid rapper. Boy meets girl who was on a show called Boy Meets World. Boy marries girl. Boy finds shrimp tails in a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Boy takes the internet by storm. This exact scenario or one very similar (maybe it’s a cockroach in a box of Lucky Charms and the girl was on Blossom or something, but you get my point) has probably happened countless times before. But this time it’s a man named Jensen Karp who claims he found shrimp tails in a box of CTC that he bought at a Costco. And upon sharing his horrifying discovery with the world, the world discovered him and also learned that he’s married to Danielle Fishel, Topanga from Boy Meets World. And that he used to be a kid battle rapper who was once signed to a million-dollar contract with Interscope Records. But right now, trying to get to the bottom of how the shrimp tails (and other ooky ephemera) ended up in his CTC seems to be his primary occupation. That and maybe, perhaps, boosting sales of his 2016 memoir Kanye West Owes Me $300.
The Patreon Account Supposedly Belonging To R. Kelly’s Girlfriend Joycelyn Savage Has Been Shut Down
The Patreon account purportedly set up by Joycelyn Savage, one of Robert Sylvester Kelly’s girlfriends (or acolytes/ captives/ victims, depending on who you ask), has been shut down because Patreon was unable to verify the person or persons’ identity. As we’ve come to expect, anything associated with Robert Sylvester Kelly carries with it the stench of fuckery, and it seems that Joycelyn allegedly turning against him and telling her story is no exception. Now, the Instagram account carrying Joycelyn’s name that was used to announce the Patreon, is hosting advertisements for online shopping.
Of Course Mariah Carey Takes Milk Baths
In a recent interview with The Guardian, Mariah Carey is, at turns, charismatic, humble and a diva. Whispers about her diva behaviors have surrounded her like a glittery cloud of butterfly farts her entire career, and some of her behavior made sense after she came out as having bipolar II disorder. In an attempt to dispel or confirm some of those rumors, the reporter asked Mariah what’s true and what’s made up. Like did she really ask for “20 white kittens and 100 white doves as a rider”? In true Mimi fashion, the answer is far from linear. Short answer: Mariah’s not a “cat lady“. But she does bathe in milk. I’ll get to that, but first, let’s set the stage.
R. Kelly’s Alleged Hostage Says She’s Not Being Held Captive
It’s never a good sign when R. Kelly’s name is trending online, but yesterday it was really not good. BuzzFeed published a story accusing R. Kelly of living up to his nickname of The Pied Piper of R&B. They claimed he had lured young women into various homes and kept them in what was implied to be R. Kelly’s version of a cult. R. Kelly denied (via his rep) that he was involved in any such sex cult. One of the women with R. Kelly has recently spoken, and she also denies anything R. Kelly-ish is happening.
Dwyane Wade And Gabrielle Union Might NOT Have Been On A Break
Reason #875823 to not be an Instagram attention whore: That shit can backfire hardcore when nosy media types are trying to piece together exactly when you and your dick-passing manho were on a break long enough for him to knock someone up and have you be okay with it.
TMZ did some digging into Gabrielle Union’s Instagram account trying to find evidence of the break Gabby and Dwyane Wade were supposedly taking when he humped a baby into another woman, but found a shit ton of nothing. If you do the math based on baby Xavier’s delivery date of November 10th and ASSume he was born close to his due date, there are a lot of damn pictures of Gabrielle and Dwyane around the supposed time of conception looking mighty fucking happy.
Unless they were broken up for three whole days or Gabby doesn’t mind her man fucking other women, all signs point to someone being a cheating liar who lies and cheats, especially if you take into account all the depressing quote pics Gabrielle uploaded starting at the beginning of April. “We cannot start over but we can begin now and make a new ending” sounds a LOT like “I’m trying to forget that time some bitch Snapchatted me a pic of a pee stick with a plus sign on it, asshole“.
If Dwyane needs some tips on how to co-parent with baby mama Aja Metoyer, he can get in touch with Damon Wayans Jr., with whom she has two kids. It’s too bad Damon didn’t jump out of a closet in full Homey D. Clown gear and smack Dwyane in the dick with a sock full of pennies before he could stick in it. It could have saved Gabrielle a lot of heartache and Dwyane at least four carats.
(Pic: Instagram)