A Man’s Discovery Of Shrimp Tails In His Cinnamon Toast Crunch Has Twitter Enthralled

March 24, 2021 / Posted by:

It’s a tale as old as time — Boy meets world. Boy becomes a kid rapper. Boy meets girl who was on a show called Boy Meets World. Boy marries girl. Boy finds shrimp tails in a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Boy takes the internet by storm. This exact scenario or one very similar (maybe it’s a cockroach in a box of Lucky Charms and the girl was on Blossom or something, but you get my point) has probably happened countless times before. But this time it’s a man named Jensen Karp who claims he found shrimp tails in a box of CTC that he bought at a Costco. And upon sharing his horrifying discovery with the world, the world discovered him and also learned that he’s married to Danielle Fishel, Topanga from Boy Meets World. And that he used to be a kid battle rapper who was once signed to a million-dollar contract with Interscope Records. But right now, trying to get to the bottom of how the shrimp tails (and other ooky ephemera) ended up in his CTC seems to be his primary occupation. That and maybe, perhaps, boosting sales of his 2016 memoir Kanye West Owes Me $300.

Here’s the post that set off a journey of discovery, repulsion, and a shout-out from Chance The Rapper. It ends with a twist ending that we probably should have all seen coming.

Now at this point, General Mills, the company that produces CTC, could have nipped this in the bud by being rightfully appalled by what could very well have led to a wrongful death lawsuit and taken immediate action. Instead, they said, nope, couldn’t be us.

Perturbed by CTC’s response and by what else he may have ingested (he had already eaten a bowl before he discovered the shrimp), Jensen kept digging. With disturbing results.

Jensen apparently felt that GM wasn’t doing the right thing by asking him to send the offensive materials back.

Unsatisfied with the prospect of sending his evidence into a GM’s black hole, Jensen took matters into his own hands. He decided to get the shrimp and bits tested at a DNA lab.

According to TMZ:

The guy who says he found shrimp tails and other disturbing objects in a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch is going coast-to-coast to answer the burning question — what the hell did he eat???

Jensen tells us he struck out 3 times Tuesday in L.A. — trying a diagnostics lab, a hospital and an emergency room to test the black objects from his box of CTC. However, he says a NJ-based company is stepping up to test the substance … which he fears might be rat poop.

Sending it cross country will take a little more time, so Jensen’s gonna have to wait longer than he hoped to solve the mystery. He’s on edge because he says he ate one bowl before noticing the strange objects … but so far, he says he’s showing no ill effects.

Meanwhile, Jensen says folks at the Natural History Museum of Los Angeles County are setting him up with a company pledging to pay for DNA testing on the alleged shrimp tails.

This saga really has everything. Beloved breakfast cereal with a jingle, a former child star with an iron stomach, SHRAMP, corporate ineptitude, a CSI-style investigation, and, ironically, Ice-T. That’s right, Jensen, AKA Hot Karl, once opened for Ice-T’s Rhyme Syndicate at the age of 12.

Did this man…. put his mom…. in Blackface? I’m going to have to move on from that and blame poor lighting. In an update from this morning, Jensen says he’s “waiting for the envelope [he] agreed on from General Mills to send them back pieces and some of a shrimp tail” and will refrain from “posting about this bullshit all day again.” The internet, not so much.

Mmmm, shrimp milkshake…

Pic: Instagram

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