Of Course Mariah Carey Takes Milk Baths

June 6, 2018 / Posted by:

In a recent interview with The Guardian, Mariah Carey is, at turns, charismatic, humble and a diva. Whispers about her diva behaviors have surrounded her like a glittery cloud of butterfly farts her entire career, and some of her behavior made sense after she came out as having bipolar II disorder. In an attempt to dispel or confirm some of those rumors, the reporter asked Mariah what’s true and what’s made up. Like did she really ask for “20 white kittens and 100 white doves as a rider”? In true Mimi fashion, the answer is far from linear. Short answer: Mariah’s not a “cat lady“. But she does bathe in milk. I’ll get to that, but first, let’s set the stage.

According to The Guardian:

My chair is opposite her, but about three metres away. If I lean forward and stretch my arm out, I’ll still be touching thin air. There is a flurry of whispers and panicked activity. Carey is unhappy. I am moved, then returned. She is every bit as poised – only on a new throne.

If you’ve read Heart of Darkness or seen Apocalypse Now, you’ll understand the parallel to be drawn between Mariah and Kurtz, the enigmatic demigod at the center of both of those tales. Sitting on a literal throne, surrounded by scuttling supplicants, Mimi fielded the question “do you only bathe in French mineral water?” and responded:

“No, I bathe in milk.” Really? “Yes, sometimes I use milk as a beauty treatment. I don’t want to give away all my secrets.” Hot or cold? “‘Cold milk.” So the mineral water is not true? She smiles. “Well, I guess if there’s no clean water and I had to use mineral water, maybe I would.”

See, now I would have a few more clarifying questions for Mariah. Whole milk or skim? Entire body or just face? Cow, goat or human? What jacked up Hostel.com hell-hole did they put you in that didn’t have “clean” water? We also learn in this interview that Mariah has actual reindeer in her house during the holidays.

Behind Carey, I can make out a huge Christmas tree. It’s 1 June. To my left and right, her team are standing and kneeling, faceless shadows in the dark, ensuring I stay on topic. Will there be reindeer at the show? “I can’t respond about the reindeer. I’m definitely gonna have reindeer in my house at Christmas.”

I hope that reporter got out of there before Mariah’s crew surrounded him with spears made out of sharpened candy canes and pelted him with festive strands of tinsel before dousing him with hot cups of cocoa, leaving him blind, crippled and screaming, “the horror, the horror!”.

Pic: Instragram

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