Category: Science!
Open Post: Hosted By James Cameron’s Scientific Study To Prove Jack Couldn’t Survive On That Floating Door In “Titanic”
JACK DAWSON IS DEAD. He froze to death in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean in the wee hours of April 15, 2012, following the Titanic’s sinking. The question is… did Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) have to die? Rose (Kate Winslet) survived by floating on a door. Could Jack have also fit on that door and lived? In the 25 years since Titanic was released, many have asked this very important question. 47-year-old Kate Winslet is out there promoting another James Cameron project, Avatar: The Way of Water, and when she was asked, she answered, “I don’t fucking know.” But guess who does fucking know? James Fucking Cameron. In a Postmedia interview via the Toronto Sun, 68-year-old James revealed he literally commissioned a scientific study to “put this whole thing to rest and drive a stake through its heart once and for all.” The result? There was no way both Jack and Rose could have survived. RIP Jack Dawson. You were the hottest Leo’s ever been.
Terrence Howard Claims He Came Up With Some Kind Of Hydrogen Technology
Former retired actor and hall of fame tax dodger Terrence Howard has taken his antics on the road and has been spotted in Uganda. While one might think he’s there to maybe support a charity or film a spot for the national tourism board, Terrence is actually visiting the East African country to present his exciting “new hydrogen technology” to the world. Guess he’s putting that degree in Terryology to good use and discovering novel mathematical proofs, renewable energy breakthroughs, and advances in baby wipe technology!
A New Study Claims That People Who Are Obsessed With Celebrities Are Less Intelligent
According to a test conducted by some allegedly smart people, there might be low intelligence levels lurking amongst the type of people who live and die by red carpet analysis, blind items, Instagram pregnancy reveals, reality shows filmed on yachts, Calabasas, or sexy unique restaurants, or who Pete Davidson is dating. Non-biased third-party verification very much needed, I know! But according to this study, it’s apparently true. Those who are compelled to follow the comings and goings in the world of celebrity are reportedly not the brightest of what humanity has to offer.
Open Post: Hosted By The Rare Blossoming Of The Smelly Penis Plant
It’s that time of year again. People are cracking out their autumn attire, winter depression is preparing to settle in, and the Netherlands’ penis plant has finally blossomed. It’s been two dry long decades since we’ve been graced by the beauty of the penis plant (or the Amorphophallus decus-silvae if you’re classy, but let’s not kid ourselves here). The plant features a bud that’s over 3 feet tall and a “narrow stem” (how rude, CNN!) that’s over 6 feet high.
Dr. Fauci Shut Down Joe Rogan’s Claims That “Young” And “Healthy” People Don’t Need To Get Vaccinated
Well I guess we know who it was that gave Dave Chappelle COVID-19 now. Last week on his #1 rated podcast The Joe Rogan Experience, Joe Rogan summoned all the medical knowledge he’s accumulated over the years from reading the pamphlets in STD clinic waiting rooms, to advise “healthy” young people not to get the coronavirus vaccine. All to which, America’s doctor, Dr. Anthony Facui cries foul!
Tom Hanks’ Blood Could Save Us All
Tom Hanks. Two time Oscar winner. Presidential Medal of Freedom recipient. The fifth-highest-grossing actor in American history. Good guy to children named Corona. And now… coronavirus curer? Well, his legendary blood, at least.
On a recent NPR podcast, Tom discussed he and wife Rita Wilson’s coronavirus experience and mentioned that they’d been approached about donating their blood.