Lipstick Jungle: The #1 Show In Brooke Shields’ Head

Obviously Brooke Shields hasn’t received her “I’m Sowwy” Vermont Teddy Bear from ABC for canceling her show “Lipstick Jungle,” because she still believes they haven’t been flushed down the toilet just yet.

At some event in NYC last night, Brooke told UsWeekly, “They thought that because My Own Worst Enemy has been shut down that the same thing had happened to us, and it’s not true. They’re not breaking down the sets. We’re still working. We still have more to do, so it’s erroneously presented that we’ve been canceled, thank God. Our bosses are saying, ‘You’re not canceled, don’t worry. We’re just trying to figure out how to make this make sense.‘”

Brooke downed a jumbo delusiontini and went on to say, “I mean, we’re basically No. 1 if you look at DVR. And you look at all that. So the public is watching it. They just need to figure out how to reconcile advertisers’ money because the advertisers don’t want you fast forwarding commercials.”

Brooke is going to be one of those bitches who despite being unemployed is still going to get up in the morning, shower, dress, go to work and sit in front of her closed down studio all day long. She’ll sit there all perky-like, texting her friends with, “I’m sooo busy at work. Miss u!”

And I’m going be one of those crazy bitches who will always believe that “Lipstick Jungle” is canceled. When their 100th episode airs, I’ll still be screaming, “That a mirage you’re watching! That show got canned years ago!”