Category: Mick Jagger
Mick Jagger Responds To The Harry Styles Comparisons, Says That Harry Is A “Superficial Resemblance” Of His Younger Self
Ever since Harry Styles went solo and his team has been doing him up in looks straight from the 70s Glam Rock Starter Kit, he has been called the Muppet Babies version of Mick Jagger, Elton John, Freddie Mercury, and David Bowie. We can’t ask for Bowie’s and Freddie’s thoughts on being one of Harry Styles’ impersonations since they’re busy giving the angels the tingles by crotch-thrusting in the afterworld. Elton John seems to be okay with the comparison since he’s praised Harry before. And the topic of Harry Styles was brought up during a recent interview between The Rolling Stones and The Times of London, and Mick likes Harry but said he was way more androgynous back in the day, that Harry is a “superficial resemblance” to his younger self, and that Harry doesn’t “move on stage” like him. Okay, I was with Mick Jagger until Mick just had to go ahead and terrorize my mind by making me think of Adam Levine yodeling out the horribly false claim that he’s got the moves like Jagger. Damn you, Mick!
81-Year-Old Al Pacino’s New Girlfriend Is 28-Year-Old Noor Alfallah
Alleged cheapskate Al Pacino may be so old he lost the role of Rosalind in The Globe Theatre debut of As You Like It to Methuselah, but that hasn’t stopped him from bagging broads young enough to be his granddaughter. But Al’s previous two girlfriends, Israeli actress Meital Dohan and Argentinian actress Lucila Solá (Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend Camila Marrone’s mother) were merely half his age. However, according to Page Six, 81-year-old Al’s new lady friend is just 28, a full 53 years his junior. Al was recently spotted having dinner with a group of friends, which included recently single Jason Momoa, and was seated next to Noor Alfallah, a 28-year-old producer “who comes from a wealthy Kuwaiti American family.” Somehow, despite dining with Jason, who was wearing a lavender button-up shirt nearly unbuttoned to his navel, instead of asking for a doggy bag big enough to hold a writhing baby elephant, Noor apparently chose to go home with Al.
The Rolling Stones Have Postponed Their North American Tour So Mick Jagger Can Get Medical Treatment
Normally-very-spry elderly person Mick Jagger, 75, is sick so his band The Rolling Stones have had to postpone their upcoming North American tour, according to Rolling Stone. The Stones reportedly have a combined age of 294. No one is saying give it up but maybe preserve those so far unbroken hips by simplifying things a little with some acoustic guitars and perhaps some stools to sit upon.
Keith Richards Picked Up The Shady Branch From Quincy Jones
Thank the Goddess above for all these aging music people. Old people in general have zero fucks to give and aren’t afraid to let the youngins have it. Old musicians who are pickled with a combination of Ecstasy residue and 70s vodka have a special brand of zero fuckery, and lately it’s been playing out in the press. While Quincy Jones read everyone to filth (including Taylor Swift), he eventually walked it back. Luckily for us, Keith Richards is here to pick up where Quincy left off (including on Taylor Swift)! Continue reading
Sir Mick Jagger And His Girlfriend Easily Won The Celebrity Baby Name Game This Year
Unless Janet Jackson gives birth before the year is over and names her baby Concepción Cristal Alexis, Mick Jagger and his young piece of a girlfriend Melanie Hamrick will take the Celebrity Baby Naming crown for 2016.
73-year-old Mick Jagger became a father for the eighth time last week when his 29-year-old ballerina girlfriend Melanie Hamrick gave birth to their baby boy. One might think that Melanie would keep it all-the-way real by naming her baby D.S. Jagger (Dollar Sign Jagger) and that Mick would go along with it since he’s not going to remember the name anyway. I mean, he’s got the names of a thousand other kids, grandkids and a great-grandkid to remember. I’m glad they didn’t do that, because the name they gave their child is so flawless that it makes me wish that in my next life I will come back as one of Mick Jagger’s spawn so I can say that I’m directly related to someone with a magnificent name. Mick Jagger and his unstoppable sperm fish are going to live to be 1,000, so my wish may come true.
The Mirror says that Mick’s daughter Elizabeth Jagger posted a picture on Instagram of her littlest brother along with his name. (She later deleted that post). Without further ado, Mick and Melanie reportedly named their baby:
Deveraux Octavian Basil!!!!!!
Welcome To The World, Jagger Baby #8!
Mick Jagger has probably spent a giant chunk of his adult life wet humping and raw dog boning any and everything, so there may be Jagger spawn spread all over the world. That may explain why my Ancestry.com results revealed that I’ve got about 0.89% Jagger blood in me. But as far as we know, Mick was a dad to seven kids and now an eighth human gets to call him their father.