After Matt Lauer got canned from the Today show, his wife Annette Roque told him to get the hell out of their Hamptons home and started making million-dollar spousal support plans. That was last year and according to People, Annette just got around to filing for divorce.
This week started out with Jennifer Lopez saying that her first two marriages didn’t really count. Now the Today show is following suit and saying that flashing sex toy giver and over-all giver of the creeps, Matt Lauer, is being erased from their history (which is hard to do because he was basically the face of the show for 20 years). Today celebrated the 25th anniversary of their move to their current studio (they will really celebrate anything) this morning, and they mentioned nearly every past member of Today, except for Matt Lauer.
“Grief vampire” Tyler Henry is what would happen if that lady with the big hair from Long Island who makes deli workers cry by pretending she’s speaking with their dead sisters had a baby with Rupert Everett. He’s E!’s “Hollywood Medium” and his line of bullshit has captivated celebrities like the Koven. Last Week Tonight host John Oliver recently suggested that Henry is the twink version of your classic grifter, and Tyler responded to the accusation on Access Live. And then he predicted Oliver’s death. (He didn’t but that would have been a fantastic mic drop.)
Well, are you happy now!? You’ve ruined the fun for everybody. You complained about Megyn Kelly being a rancid troll when she defended blackface and followed it up with a sea of crocodile tears and a Dollar Store apology, and now, according to multiple sources, she’s in contract negotiations to secure her bag before her “imminent” departure from NBC. Now we’re not going to get a chance to see whatever she had planned for her Today Halloween costume! Why do you think she said blackface is A-OK in the first place!? She was preparing us. She was probably planning on coming out, live on TV, dressed up as Kanye West and now we’ll never know!
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the What Allegations? 2018 Redemption Tour! Upcoming dates TBA, but we do know that the tour has begun and more performers have been added to the lineup. Louis C.K. kicked things off on Sunday night with a surprise visit to the Comedy Cellar in NYC, where he received a standing ovation. Rumored to be next up are Matt Lauer and Aziz Ansari.
Poor Matt Lauer has had a rough few months. First he got fired from Today in November for being an alleged sexual harassing creep, and then he had to deal with his wife Annette Roque filing for divorce since you can’t flash your co-workers and gift them butt plugs without your wife getting a lil’ angry. The divorce got heated fast since everybody loves a payout, except for the one doing the paying. But according to Page Six, it looks like the fight is nearly over and Annette is packing a bag and taking it to the bank.