Katie Couric’s Former Nanny Hits Back At Her, Saying She’s A Dirty, Nose-Picking Slob!

If it looks like in the picture above, Katie Couric is thinking to herself, “Yup, your noses aren’t lying to you, I just farted,” that’s because she might have. That’s according to her former nanny, anyway.

Katie Couric’s new book Going There should have been called Bridge Burner because while she calls predatory pile of smug Matt Lauer a “decent” man who she sent words of love and support to during his downfall, she drags Deborah Norville, Martha Stewart, Diane Sawyer, Ashleigh Banfield, Ashleigh Banfield’s dad, and even her former nanny. According to Page Six, Katie writes in her book that her former nanny was like a human hybrid of The Hand That Rocks The Cradle and Single White Female, because the woman was delusional, obsessed, and tried to destroy her marriage. But the former nanny is biting back and says that Katie is like something out of an 80s comedy about a disgusting tween boy who gets trapped in the body of a fake ass news anchor. The nanny says that Katie was a farty, nose-picking slob who displayed her boogers on a pillow and turned her dirty underwear inside out inside of changing them for new ones. Well, if everybody in Katie’s life turns on her because of her book, she can always count on Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell taking her in.

Katie reportedly writes in Going There that her former live-in nanny came to work for them in 1991 right before she gave birth to her oldest child, Ellie Monahan, who is now 30. Katie calls her former nanny “Doris” but Doris’ real name is Nancy Poznek. Back then, Katie lived in NYC and her husband Jay Monahan lived in Virginia. So Katie says that she saw Nancy more than anybody else and dropped her guard around her nanny. But Katie says that things slid into CreepyVille when Nancy asked her for a bedtime hug one night and to Katie, it was like The House of The Spirits when Ferula becomes obsessed with Clara. Katie brushed it off because she says Nancy was lonely and didn’t have any friends. Katie admits that she became dependent on Nancy and “an alarming level of codependency had been achieved.” Katie and Nancy’s personal and professional relationship went to shit when Jay decided to live in NYC full-time. Katie claims that Nancy was threatened by Jay’s permanent presence and tried to drive a wedge between husband and wife and destroy their marriage. Nancy was pink-slipped and Kate says Nancy got revenge by running her mouth to the tabloids and by accusing Jay of being a pedophile. via P6:

Then, after Doris’ abrupt dismissal, embarrassing stories began to turn up in tabloids. Even more disturbing were flyers accusing Monahan of pedophilia that Doris had printed up being distributed to the lobby of the new building the family was about to move into.

The “evidence” was a close-up of a photo from a family holiday of Monahan after a huge meal sprawled on a bed with Ellie with — in true dad fashion — the top button of his khakis undone to let his stomach out.

Jay Monahan can’t defend himself because he died of cancer in 1998 at 42.

Katie isn’t the only one going for gold in the Petty Olympics. Enter: NANCY! Nancy is telling her side to a tabloid, this time The Daily Mail. Nancy does admit that after she stopped working for Katie, she did talk to the tabloids, but that a story she told to Star Magazine was a fluffy one (about Jay walking around playing the bugle in his boxers) and that she passed a lie detector test given to her by The Globe. Nancy also denies spreading pedophile rumors about Jay and hasn’t even seen the picture that was pushed as “evidence.”

Nancy tells The Daily Mail that Katie got shit twisted because Katie’s the one who hugged Nancy and even kissed her on the lips. Nancy says that Katie was the dependent one and that they’d sleep in the same bed during trips because Katie didn’t like to be alone. And Nancy claims that her duties went beyond taking care of Ellie. Nancy had to wake Katie up at 4 am for work. Nancy got some shots in by pretty much calling Katie a fake dum dum:

When Couric came home she and Poznek would go out for a couple of hours and then the ‘packet’ – material to prepare for the next day’s show – would arrive from NBC and Couric would have to study it. Poznerk said: ‘She was not a smart person, as in she’s studied the packet but Jeff Zucker helped her through it.’

Pozek said that she was turned off by Couric’s manufactured charm that she deployed for her job. She said: ‘She’d say to Jay and me: “I have to go out and schmooze.” I’ve seen her operate, I was with her when she was interviewed by People magazine, she reels these people in, they think she’s their best friend.

‘As soon as she goes out she puts on that smile and that cutesy thing. Now she’s too old for that cutesy thing.’ Meanwhile, when she got home, Couric would discard clothes all over the house and her room looked like a ‘disaster.’

“You’re getting a little too old for that cutesy look” is the scorned celebrity nanny version of “I’m getting a little too old for that whorey look.”

Nancy went on about how much of a Garbage Pail Kid Katie was, saying that Jay used to have to force Katie to shower on the weekends because she was so tired from her job. Nancy adds that Katie would fart in the car and created a menagerie of schnoz gunk on her pillow:

‘One time when we were in Key West, Jay said to me, come on you gotta come with me. He took me up to the bedroom, she was in the bathroom and he said look – it was her pillow, she’d picked her nose all night, all the (boogers) were lined up,’ Poznek said.

‘She was like that. She’ll drink out of a milk carton and when her underwear were dirty she’ll turn them inside out’.

Couric rarely cooked and didn’t diet – Poznek recalled that she was ‘built like a little wrestler’ and ‘never saw a man make a pass at her – Jay had nothing to worry about there.’

Nancy also gave The Daily Mail a picture of Katie sniffing Billy Joel’s shorts after they snooped in his closet during a visit to his house in 1994. And Nancy got into Katie and Jay’s marital problems, saying that after Jay died Katie played “the widow card and the reason she does that is because she’s guilty, she wasn’t around for him all those years.” DAMN.

It’s relevant to add that in 2005, Nancy was sued by a family she worked for. They claimed that she harassed and disparaged them.

These two are a mess. But honestly, the thing about Katie lining up her snot balls like trophies isn’t surprising. I mean, she proudly shows support and love for Matt Lauer and he’s biggest, most disgusting nose dingle of them all.

Pic: Wenn.com