Category: Kourtney Kardashian
Shanna Moakler Thinks Travis Barker And Kourtney Kardashian’s PDA Has Gotten Weird
I don’t want to get technical, but I think we passed “weird” about a month ago. We’re officially in “TOO MUCH” territory right now when it comes to Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker. Kourtney and Travis are 42 and 45, respectively, but ever since they got together, it’s like they have both been possessed by the demon spirits of two extremely horny high school seniors that won’t stop making out directly in front of your locker. And Travis Barker’s ex-wife Shanna Moakler also thinks Kourtney and Travis are doing too much in the weirdest way possible.
Travis Barker Got A Goop Candle That Smells Like Kourtney Kardashian’s Orgasm
Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker must be feeling the heat and are trying to compete for attention with the recent reunion of Bennifer 1.0 because they are scrambling! Travis flooded Kourtney’s house with flowers for her birthday and Mother’s Day and now he’s flooding his own house with the scent of her orgasm. Never mind that a portal to a darker dimension has probably opened thanks to the unholy union of a Kardashian and Goop, but there’s no reason for that candle. If you’re the kind of sicko who wants to smell Kourtney’s orgasm, just sit next to her when she bites into a salad.
Open Post: Hosted By All The Flowers That Travis Barker Gave Kourtney Kardashian For Mother’s Day
42-year-old Kourtney Kardashian and 45-year-old Travis Barker only went Instagram official a few months ago in February, but it seems like forever that these two have been stunting for attention. Travis overloaded Kourtney with flowers for her birthday, she sucked his thumb on Instagram, and he got a tattoo of her name. They are serving up a plate of barf-covered EXTRAness left and right. And they continued yesterday on Mother’s Day. Travis gave Kourtney tons of fucking flowers. I mean, the way the world works in California, I imagine that LA florists have a floral arrangement simply called: Attention Seeking.
Kourtney Kardashian And Travis Barker’s Exes Are Hurt By How Fast Things Are Moving
Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker shocked vocal fry enthusiasts and aging former Zumiez shoppers alike when they got together out of nowhere, and almost immediately started filling Instagram feeds with a million pixels of their love. And since they went public with their relationship just a few months ago, we’ve learned plenty about them. Like that Kourtney’s name is already tattooed on him, that Travis has already established himself as sufficiently tacky and wasteful enough to qualify as a Kardashian boyfriend, and which speed they enjoy thumb sucking (slow n’ gross). Does it feel like we already know too much? Their exes might seem to think so. According to sources, Shanna Moakler (former Miss USA and Travis’ ex-wife) and Scott Disick (Todd Kraines impressionist and the father of Kourtney’s three children) are reportedly both having a tough time watching their exes move on like they are. Still? But I thought Shanna got all that petty drama out of her system and onto social media months ago? Apparently not.
Travis Barker Got Kourtney Kardashian A Giant Mess Of Flowers For Her Birthday
Today is Kourtney Kardashian‘s 42nd birthday, and her current piece, Travis Barker, 45, surprised her yesterday with gigantic displays of her favorite tulips and gardenias that look like Sigmund the Sea Monster went full Chia Pet after ransacking the garden aisle at Home Depot and stealing the crib mobiles of a dozen babies headed for a career in horticulture.
I’m sure Kourtney was more appreciative of the grand gesture than this description may suggest, but tastefully restrained aesthetics aren’t really Travis’s thing, as we already know from the frothing volcanic ink splooge that covers his body; including his latest excellent choice of Kourtney’s name on a delicate parcel of chesticle, because tattoed names of your current fuckpiece always work out well.
Travis Barker Already Got Kourtney Kardashian’s Name Tattooed On His Body
It’s been approximately nineteen seconds since the birth of KarBark (or it is BarkNey? BarkAshian?) and Travis Barker has already made the good decision to get Kourtney Kardashian’s name inked over his nipple knob area. I know, the real news here is that Travis actually found space on his body for another tattoo. “Yeah, and it just had to be over me. Fuck me,” said his nipple.