Justin Theroux Swears He And Jennifer Aniston Didn’t Break Up Over Los Angeles And New York
First of all, a big thanks to whoever at Esquire encouraged Justin Theroux to bring in his very sweet dog Kuma into their cover shoot. And with the current state of the world, I’m sure we all would have been ok if Esquire’s recent profile on Justin Theroux was nothing but shirtless shots of him and facts about Kuma. But instead, they talked about Justin’s current life, including the end of his marriage to Jennifer Aniston, which happened more than three years ago, by the way. There have been lots of theories about why they split up, including, but not limited to, the totally real possibility that Jennifer was still madly in love with her real soulmate Brad Pitt, or the more believable cross-country drama of Jen being an LA person while Justin is a New York type. Well, it’s not the second one, according to Justin.
Jennifer and Justin officially called it quits in February 2018, and they did so by releasing a statement that said they wanted to kill any speculation about why they were splitting up after 2.5 years of marriage and 7 years together in total. They both claimed it was a mutual decision and they’re staying friends. So far, they have. It really was relatively drama-free. Except for the millions of sources that ran to the tabloids and claimed there was another woman, and her name is Lady Liberty. Many sources said Justin just couldn’t do the whole Hollywood thing, and that Jennifer was never into his “edgy art scene.” But Justin says that’s not true:
“That’s a narrative that is not true, for the most part. Look, people create narratives that make themselves feel better or simplify things for them. That whole ‘This person likes rock ’n’ roll, that person likes jazz. Of course!’ That’s just not the case. It’s an oversimplification.”
Justin declined to elaborate on what he meant and what was the real reason. But it’s not because he didn’t want to talk about Jennifer Aniston. Justin dropped her name again and reiterated the fact that they actually are still friends, and there’s no messy animosity between the two of them.
“I would say we’ve remained friends. We don’t talk every day, but we call each other. We FaceTime. We text. Like it or not, we didn’t have that dramatic split, and we love each other. I’m sincere when I say that I cherish our friendship. We can not be together and still bring each other joy and friendship. Also, she makes me laugh very, very hard. She’s a hilarious person. It would be a loss if we weren’t in contact, for me personally. And I’d like to think the same for her.”
And he explains how he and Jennifer managed to remain friends. They tried their hardest not to turn into complete assholes on their way out.
“I think that when you get good at relationships – and here I am, single – if you love the person the same way you loved them in the relationship, it would behoove you to love them the same way out of the relationship. Who wants to take a shit while you’re walking out the door?”
I’ll forgive him for dropping a “behoove” without crediting the Queen of Behooves, Muffy B. Tepperman because I’m too busy trying to figure out if he dropped a subtle clue about the reason for their split. Justin says the rumor about them loving opposite coasts wasn’t true “For the most part,” but it’s three years later, and Jennifer lives in LA and Justin lives in New York. So it probably had something to do with it. Or maybe it wasn’t Los Angeles and New York City specifically. Jennifer lives for hot weather, margaritas, and bikinis. Justin wants to live that jeans and motorcycle boots hipster life. I’m thinking Jennifer approached him one day and said, “This isn’t going to work. You need it to be cool enough so that your leather jackets don’t fuse to your skin in the sun, but my tanning accelerator keeps getting frost crystals on the bottle.”
Pic: Mark Seliger/Esquire