Open Post: Hosted By Richard Grieco

The last time I posted about Richard Grieco, he was looking like Johnny Depp if Johnny Depp was bit by a zombie, fell into a vat of boiling oil and spent his days smoking meth off of a tin spoon under the pier at the beach (“So you mean, like Johnny Depp today?” – you). Well, what a difference a year, a bottle of Bonne Bell foundation, a haircut by a speed freak with arthritic hands and some old L.A. Looks gel makes!

Richard Grieco graced the lessers with his presence at last night’s L.A. premiere of 22 Jump Street, because well, the producers promised him a couple of drink tickets and a half-carton of Reds if he showed up. While a bunch of borings showed up being boring, Richard Grieco showed them how sexy is really done. Yes, sexy IS looking like a parched turtle doing its best impersonation of Eddie Munster as a bunch of black crows attack its head. Richard Grieco still has it.

Here’s more of Richard along with pictures of others like Channing Tatum, Dave Franco and Andy Dick. I know, Richard Grieco AND Andy Dick in the same theater together. How didn’t that theater immediately fill with gallons upon gallons of crotch cream?

Pics: Wenn.com, Splash

The Jonah Hill Apology Tour Made A Stop At The Tonight Show

Jonah Hill has already apologized once for that TMZ video of him barking “suck my dick, you faggot” at a photographer on Howard Stern’s radio show, but I guess his “I can’t be a homophobe, I have a gay best friend!” angle wasn’t winning anyone over, because he tried his hand at a second, more sincere “I’m sowwy” with Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show last night.

The producers of 22 Jump Street must have really scared the fear into Jonah Dirtpile, because his apology is nearly three minutes long and he doesn’t mention his gay best friend once. Instead, he says what we were all kind of hoping he’d admit the first time around: that an asshole pap was pissing him off and he retaliated by calling him a shitty slur and he fucked up. He also says he didn’t mean to use “faggot” in a homophobic way, but that it doesn’t matter which way he meant it, because the word he chose was “grotesque”. Jonah even got a little choked up. Then again, that could just have been him realizing that if he doesn’t make this shit look convincing, his ass might get replaced in 23 Jump Street by a cardboard cut-out of Seth Rogen.

The cynical asshole in me wants to believe this second apology is merely the work of TWO-TIME ACADEMY AWARD-NOMINATED ACTOR JONAH HILL!!!, but I think he’s sincerely sorry for using the other f-word. I’m sure if he could go back, he’d freeze time like Evie from Out of This World, cram the words “Suck my dick, you faggot” back in his mouth and search in his mental Rolodex of Insults for something else. Like “Eat my turds, you rotten leaky dick cyst” or something. Next time, Jonah, next time.

Here’s Jonah Hill at GMA this morning:

Pics: Splash

Jonah Hill Pulls An Alec Baldwin By Calling A Photographer A Gay Slur

This weekend, the human version of a popped can of expired Pillsbury Grands biscuits Jonah Hill was walking through the Larchmont area of LA with a couple of friends when he started being followed by a couple of photographers, including a pap from TMZ with a video camera, who tried to ask him a couple questions. Jonah Hill refused to answer, probably because he was too busy mentally analyzing why his BFFs Brad Pitt and Leo DiCaprio haven’t returned any of his emails or phone calls lately. Even after one of the paps sarcastically comments on his hideous shorts by saying: “I like the shorts though, bro. They are pretty sexy”, Jonah says nothing.

Eventually they decide to leave him and wish him a good day, and that’s when that dumb fool opens his mouth and proudly hisses out: “Suck my dick, you faggot.” Yes, that was his response to the words “Have a good day”; calling someone the dirty double-g F-slur, “faggot”.

Dear Jonah Hill: The Wolf of Wall Street wrapped shooting in 2013; you can stop acting like a hateful asshole any time now.

And in true damage control fashion, Jonah has come forward to deny that he’s a husky homophobe and offer an apology ripped straight from the Alec Baldwin Apologies for Assholes handbook. Jonah appeared on Howard Stern on Monday to say he’s so sowwy for using the “disgusting” F-double-G word because he’s been a gay rights activist since the day he was born (really, he said that) and that he has a gay best friend. Yes, he pulled the gay best friend card. Alec Baldwin just shed a single rude, thoughtless little tear of pride.

He also claimed he’d NEVAH say such a hateful word, but he couldnt help it! It’s not his fault! He lost his cool and burped out the word “faggot” to the paps because they had been following him around all day, talking shit about his family. He then went on to say:

“I’m pretty good at making movies. I am not good at being a famous person.”

The first part of that sentence is debatable, but the second part is 100% correct if you remove the word “famous”.

Leonardo DiCaprio Brought The Hot To The Wolf Of Wall Street Premiere

There have been so many damn premieres of Martin Scorsese films starring Leonardo DiCaprio that at this point, Leo probably just turns to Lukas Haas and rolls his eyes saying, “Put on something nice, honey. It’s date night.” Leo dusted off the rat’s ass he pulls out right before Oscar season to attend the premiere of Wolf of Wall Street in New York City last night, looking a little pudding pie in the face.

Whoever dressed Leo’s co-star Matthew McConaughey should be nominated for all the awards in the category of tailoring a suit that transforms the wearer from a T. rex to the Swedish Chef in the arms. I had to double check to make sure those weren’t fake hands poking out of the sleeves of Matthew’s Colonel-Sanders-as-a-bridegroom suit. All he needs to complete the look is a ribbon bow tie and Leo’s facial hair.

Here are more pics from the premiere last night. Besides Leo and Matty with his wife Camila Alves, also pictured is Jonah Hill (who needs to reel in that creepy fangirl look), hottie Kyle Chandler who I had shamefully forgotten about, Margot Robbie and Martin Scorsese (and his eyebrows, which really should get top billing on all his films).

(Pics: Splash)

The Wolf Of Wall Street Trailer Is Here

If you ever wondered what it would look like if The Great Gatsby’s personality and Wall Street’s internal organs were shoved into American Psycho’s body, here’s your answer. Above is the trailer for Martin Scorsese’s The Wolf of Wall Street which stars his muse Leonardo DiCatchAHo, Jonah Hill, The Texas T-Rex, Kyle Chandler, Joanna Lumley and the Victoria’s Secret model version of Emma Stone known as Margot Robbie. The Wolf of Wall Street is about some Wall Street type who… Oh, who gives a shit. The only thing that matters is that this trailer has midget tossing, a monkey in roller skates, a flying lobster, The Texas T-Rex playing the chest drums and THIS:

Leo is popping and locking for that Oscar. And if they really want an Oscar, they’ll submit this shit in the documentary category, because this is basically Leonardo DiCatchAHo’s life set in the 90s.

Rita Ora Cheated On Rob Kardashian With Jonah Hill

UPGRADE!!!

Rob Kartrashian wah wah wah’ed out a river of sad tears on Twitter earlier this month right after he found out that his girlfriend Rita Ora allegedly let a bunch of dudes run up into her raw while they were together. Rita Ora never said anything about it and ten seconds later dumb ass Rob tried to act like he wasn’t talking about her. But a source tells UsWeekly that Rob was obviously talking about Rita Whora, because he dumped her after finding out that she screwed his heart over by screwing Jonah Hill.

The source said that while Rita Whora was in NYC for a minute, she spent the night with Jonah Hill. I know Jonah Hill doesn’t exactly moisten your chops, but ANYTHING is an upgrade from a piece of trash Kardashian. ANYTHING. That night in NYC, Rita Whora probably woke up in her hotel room, came to her senses and realized that she let a Kardashian raw dog dick her a bunch of times. Rita Whora ran out of her hotel room in a panic and tried to wipe the Kardashian smegma from her poon by humping everything in her path. Rita humped a door knob, humped the maid’s cart, did anal with a DO NOT DISTURB sign and then she came across Jonah Hill in the hallway. Rita drive-by fucked him in ten seconds flat.

You gotta hump what you gotta hump to get rid of that Kardashian stench on your twat. Even if UsWeekly’s headline read, “Rita Ora Cheated On Rob Kardashian With A Pile Of Zombie Poo,” I still wouldn’t judge or blame her.