Category: Jack Brooksbank
Princess Eugenie Has Moved Into Prince Hot Ginge And Meghan Markle’s Frogmore Cottage
There were rumors that Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle were going to make their grand return to Britain to celebrate Christmas with the Royal Family (and that Meghan needed to be in the UK for her trial against The Mail on Sunday, which has been pushed to next Fall), but that’s not going to happen now. And well, if PHG and Meghan ever want to pop over to his homeland for a visit in the near future, they’ll have to sleep on an inflatable mattress in THE QUEEN’s Throne Room or get a room at the Holiday Inn, because The Sun says that they have given the keys to their 10-bedroom England pied-à-terre, Frogmore Cottage, to his cousin Princess Eugenie and her husband Jack Brooksbank. Apparently, they wanted to keep this on the shush so PHG and Meghan had their belongings moved out of Frogwhore (cue up ultra-dramatic music provided by Hans Zimmer) IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT. During that oh-so-dramatic nighttime move, I’m sure the deers and other woodland creatures around there were covering their pillows over their ears like, “The drama of it all! We don’t give a shit!”
Princess Eugenie Is Pregnant
Princess Eugenie has just earned her pick of tiaras for the next big royal public appearance (try to find one you can attach tasteful face mask straps to? We don’t know how long this thing is gonna go, Genie). Princess Eugenie and her husband of nearly two years, Jack Brooksbank, have given the royal family’s publicity department some easy to sell news in the form of a new future royal baby.
The Wind Tried To Take Down Naomi Campbell’s Glamour At Princess Eugenie’s Wedding
Prince Hot Ginge and Duchess Meghan’s all-star royal wedding spectacular may have been stuffed full of more celebrities than the damn Met Gala, and brought out the likes of The Mighty O and Tom Hardy, who became all of us by falling asleep with his eyes open. But Princess Eugenie had Naomi Campbell on her wedding guest list today. The St. George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle was probably filled with the clickity clack sounds of Prince Hot Ginge and Duchess Meghan furiously pounding away at their iPhones while rage-texting their wedding guest booker for not getting them THEE Naomi Campbell.
Princess Eugenie Married “Not The Most Intelligent” Man (Copyright: His Own Grandma)
While some of us were busy dreaming of sugar ginger balls dancing on our face, the Rita Ora of royal weddings went down at St. George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle this morning. That’s the same scene where my dead heart died even more five months ago. But just because it was the royal wedding of a third tier royal doesn’t mean that loyal subjects didn’t come out in droves. I mean, look how excited the people were to bask in the glory of this magnificent once-in-a-lifetime (if you’re a fly, maybe) event!
