Fox has decided that the six episodes of BH90210 were more than enough. The reboot which had already been rebooted is dead once more. But knowing how these things go, it won’t be for long. Give it two to four years for a reboot of this reboot.
The Hollywood Reporter claims to know what everyone on BH90210 are getting paid. The good news for poor little rich girl turned poor girl Tori Spelling is that she’s one of them. Shhh – don’t tell her numerous creditors.
Late last year, news about yet another Beverly Hills, 90210 reboot/revival/whatever was burped up when Jennie Garth, Tori Spelling, Ian Ziering, Jason Priestley, and Brian Austin Green were papped getting coffee in between laughably pitching to networks. I say “laughably,” because I can only imagine how raw the vocal cords of network executives got as they laughed uncontrollably while Jennie and company seriously pitched a 90210 reboot without The Forever Queen of 90210 that is Brenda Walsh. 90210 without Brenda Walsh is like broccoli without mayonnaise. It’s boring, bland, and nobody wants it. And like broccoli with mayonnaise, if you don’t like Brenda Walsh, you obviously have no taste and don’t know what you’re talking about!
But I guess FOX needed a tax write-off, because they bought the 90210 reboot that will be 100% Brenda-less.
Deadline is reporting that it’s once again time to feed a fed horse because there is yet another revival of a once-popular show coming back to television. But this is sort of a Groundhog Day of reboots because you’ve seen this rebooted once before.
It’s a dark day for cartoonishly bad CGI sharks, movie title puns, and the bank accounts belonging to Tara Reid and Ian Ziering. Entertainment Weekly says that SyFy isn’t making anymore Sharknado movies after its sixth one. The tornado made of live sharks and somewhat-alive careers will stop spinning and dump everything back into the ocean where it first began. The makers of Sharknado 6 tweeted yesterday that it will be released in August.
— Sharknado (@SharknadoSYFY) March 29, 2018
Both Ian Ziering and Tara Reid will return, as will Vivica A. Fox and Cassie Scerbo. EW says the plot of Sharknado 6 involves time travel. The fifth one, Sharknado 5: Global Swarming, involved Fin’s son Gil getting sucked into a massive sharknado and the subsequent destruction of the world. Basically, they’re going to go back and prevent the sharknados from ever happening. It also ended with Ian Ziering’s character meeting up with Dolph Lundgren, which means you can probably expect to see He-Man and Steve Sanders fighting…I don’t know, tornadoes filled with Nazi sharks?
I just hope that one of the things they do while they’re back in time is make a pit stop in 2001 and warn Tara Reid – actual Tara Reid – that unless she wants to do something called Andy the Talking Hedgehog, she might want to start screening Paris Hilton’s calls. At the very least they should tell her to lay off the unfiltered Marlboros. And when she asks why, they can pull out a should play her a recording of her truck-driving-through-a-gravel-pit voice from present day. That’s a better wake-up call than any Charles Dickens ghost.
Syfy Somehow Managed To Sign The Sought-After A-List Talent Of Tara Reid And Ian Ziering For Sharknado 2
The agents of Quentin Tarantino, David O’ Russell, Steven Spielberg, Paul Thomas Anderson, Steve McQueen, Christopher Nolan and many other A-list directors are getting calls today from Tara Reid’s team of agents to let them know that sorry, but she’s booked. Those agents better start calling their second choice Jennifer Lawrence, because the melting discount Yankee Candle (scent: vodka barf and burnt Fix-A-Flat foam) has officially signed on for the sequel to the Twitter extravaganza Sharkando. Ian Ziering, who in that picture looks like a baby with diarrhea just butt scooted across his forehead, will also be back.
The Hollywood Reporter says that Sharknado: The Second One (that’s really the title) will start shooting next month in NYC and that mess will splatter across your TV screens sometime in July. The plot (for lack of a better word) goes like this:
In Sharknado 2, a freak weather system turns its deadly fury on New York City, unleashing a “sharknado” on the city’s population and its most iconic sites, with Fin and April the only ones able to save the city.
Well, I better say “bye, bitch” to my favorite iconic sites of NYC (see: the IHOP on 2nd Avenue, the downstairs bathroom at the Phoenix, any subway car with a Dr. Zizmor ad in it, Trash and Vaudeville, etc, etc…), because if these two messes are the only ones to save the city….
I wonder how those negotiations with Tara Reid went. Syfy probably offered her a bottle of Svedka and a half-empty box of Trojans and she said, “Keep the trojans, give me the vodka and you’ve got a deal!”