Category: Gross Things On Tongues
Arby’s Has A New Carrot That’s Made Out Of Meat
Arby’s is proving to be one jealous meat loving bitch with their response to Burger King’s vegan impossible burger. Arby’s is making a meat carrot and they’re calling it a Marrot. It’s made of turkey, sadness, and salt and then it’s sprayed down with the same spray tan Trump uses. It’s truly some monstrosity to behold.
Open Post: Hosted By Halle Berry Eating Turkey Balls
And I don’t mean like some kind of deep-fried processed meat treat like when someone says chicken balls. Unless those chicken balls are made up of deep-fried ground chicken testicles–then it’s the same. I mean, turkey nuts! Halle Berry and Anjelica Huston were on The Late Late Show With James Corden and they both ate some gross stuff in order to get out of answering some secrets. Ready to watch Anjelica eat bull penis and Halle scarf down some turkey balls? Okay, dive in, bon appétit.
Open Post: Hosted By Lucky Charms Flavored Beer
For those wanting to recreate Saturday morning frat house memories of pouring stale beer over Lucky Charms because nobody’s bothered to buy milk since Sandir, the responsible one, went to visit his parents in Redondo Beach, have I got news for you! Just in time for St. Patrick’s Day, a brewery in Norfolk, Virginia called Smart Mouth, has come up with a “magically ridiculous” Lucky Charms flavored IPA. Sadly, it’s available for frat boys and people who hate their mouths in Virginia only. They don’t ship because they don’t have their hazmat license yet. The beer is called Saturday Morning, and it sounds absolutely disgusting.
Les Moonves Is Even Closer To Losing His $120 Million Exit Package
According to The New York Times, CBS did a network investigation into the sexual assault and harassment allegations against their former head bitch Les Moonves. They hired attorneys who are now done looking into over a dozen claims of sexual misconduct and the report is not glowing… unlike Les’ old office in a black light.
Justin Bieber And Stephen Baldwin’s Daughter Make Their Attention Whore Love Official On Instagram
I’m starting my 2016 off with the sicks. I caught some kind of sinus infection cold thing while I was in Denver for New Year’s and strangely enough, my usual HOlistic treatment of choice (weed, booze, porn and Slim Jims) hasn’t killed it yet. I know, weird. So the past few days, I’ve been hacking up disgusting phlegm balls that look like a cross between mutilated Ghoulies and the butt discharge of Jabba the Hutt. But yet, spitting up globs of alien jizz haven’t grossed me out as much as this picture of Justin Bieber sucking face did. I know, my bitter ass obviously doesn’t understand pure love.
Stephen Baldwin’s Instagram model daughter, Hailey Baldwin, has apparently been Justin Bieber’s casual hook-up trick for a little while now. A couple of months ago, the Biebs told Billboard that he and Hailey Baldwin weren’t a thing. But last night, she may have been officially upgraded to main piece when the Biebs posted a picture of them airing out their armpits while touching lips on Instagram. That’s the “raise your hand if you’re sure you’re a thirst bucket” pose. The two spent the holidays together in Anguilla and St. Barts.
So, let’s see, Hailey Baldwin is doing Justin Bieber who did Selena Gomez who may be doing Niall Horran who is in One Direction with Harry Styles who may be double bearding with Kendull Jenner who is friends with Hailey Baldwin and Gigi Hadid who is doing Zayn Malik who was in One Direction with Niall and Harry. Those messes are the Wonky McValtrex, Brandon Davis, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, Starving Nachos, Mischa Barton and Harry Morton of 2016. And I’m just bracing myself for when some magazine inevitably calls them “the new Brat Pack” again.
And after the cut are a few more Instagram pictures of Young Hollywood High’s most annoying couple, including a picture of Justin Bieber looking like the star of Nick Jr.’s remake of Miami Vice.
Don’t You Just Hate It When You Eat Food Off The Floor And Find Out It’s Really Dried Cat Barf?
I don’t know if the anchors of WFSB in Hartford, CT share a joint before going on air, but if they do, they need to turn their dealer into the authorities and switch dealers immediately, because they’re smoking some wrong shit that is making them do crazy ass things like eat a random pile of something off of the floor.
This morning, weatherman Scot Haney was sitting at the desk with the anchors when he noticed some shit on the floor that he thought was Grape Nuts and his brain sent his hand the message, “Put that in mouth.” Scot put it in his mouth, chewed on it for a while and realized that yes, Grape Nuts usually taste like the dried remains of a zombie, but whatever was in his mouth tasted like death’s dirty ass. Turns out it wasn’t Grape Nuts, it was barf out of his pussy’s mouth.
Scot Haney came back from break and made viewers dry heave by telling them that his cat barfed at home and he unknowingly stepped on it. With the cat vomit on the bottom of his shoe, Scot walked to his car, drove to the station, walked through the parking lot and then left piles of that mess everywhere.
I don’t even know….
If you eat some shit off the floor without sniffing it first, you might be a Spears. Who, besides really dumb toddlers and goats, thinks it’s okay to eat crap off a floor that isn’t in your house? Dude didn’t only put dried cat barf in his mouth. He also put whatever stuck to that cat barf (examples: hobo pubes, rat cum, roach poop, etc…) while he walked to his car. Even if it was Grape Nuts, that’s still all sorts of ICK NAST, because eating Grape Nuts without sugar is disgusting.
While on his way to work, Scot probably saw a discarded needle lying on the ground, picked it and injected whatever was in that shit into his veins. That might explain this.
via Mediaite