Grimes Confirms Elon Musk IS The Father

March 6, 2020 / Posted by:

Grimes may not ever reveal the gender of her bio-spawn, but she finally confirmed, that, yes, her boyfriend of two years, 48-year-old Bond villain Elon Musk, is the father! The baby will be #6 for Elon, who has five sons from his first marriage. In a new Rolling Stone digital cover interview, Grimes explained her decision to get pregnant.

She told Rolling Stone:

“It was really profound to me when I decided I was going to do it, to actually go through the act of” — she drops to a near-whisper; her brother is in the room — “like, y’know, unprotected sex. I’m just like, I have sacrificed my power in this moment. I have, like, capitulated, And I have spent my whole life avoiding that situation. I have never capitulated to anything, so it was just a profound commitment.”

It was a commitment made for the simplest of reasons. “I do actually just really love my boyfriend,” she says. “So I was like, ‘You know, sure.’”

“You know, sure. Why not? Take the condom off and knock me up with the next galactic emperor of Mars!” Grimes, or “c”, as friends call her (which stands for her real name, Claire, and it’s also the symbol for the speed of light… you know, sure) insists she really didn’t understand what she was getting into when she started dating the rich and powerful Elon Musk. But she’s convinced that her baby daddy is “potentially saving the world”, and compares him to Bernie Sanders:

“When I look at the aims of my boyfriend and I look at the aims of Bernie, like, their end goals are very similar. Fix environmental problems, reduce suffering. It’s worth dissecting the wealth gap, it’s worth dissecting the existence of billionaires, but situations have nuance.”

Yes, the wealth gap does have “nuance” when you’re the one dating a billionaire. But Grimes doesn’t think Elon’s so bad cuz he isn’t “buying yachts”. Girl, that’s the best reason to date a billionaire! Lazing on a yacht, and screaming at the Below Deck staff to hand feed you vodka-infused M&Ms!

Instead of sending her maternity leave avatar/baby stand in, the @warnymph, in her place, Grimes opted on using her own flesh and blood for the interview photo shoot. Here she is serving bionic Mother Mary.

Well, congrats to “c” and Elon on their soon-baby! I have a feeling the little rascal will either be our Messiah savior, or the reason Earth finally hurls itself into the Sun. 50/50!


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