Kanye West’s Wyoming Ranch Will Include A “Urine Garden”

March 26, 2020 / Posted by:

Last fall, hordes of life-long Wyomingites uprooted their lives and fled the state when they heard the news that Kanye West purchased a massive ranch near the town of Cody. Like, haven’t they suffered enough? RuPaul’s fracking on their precious land, and now this? Kanye is constructing a huge ampitheatre where he can hold his Sunday Services. He’s also building his Yeezy fashion headquarters.

Kanye was interviewed for this month’s issue of WSJ Magazine. In addition to spouting dumbassery about his struggle as a black Trump supporter, he also delved into his plans for the Wyoming “compound”. It will feature “a series of seven dome-shaped rooms to be part of a closed-loop ecology for energy and water capture”, and some more eco-friendly/crazy rich person shit…

via Page Six:

In the illustrations for the space-age wild West manse is something called a “bio pool,” as well as a “urine garden,” described as an “aquaponic-like system that converts human waste into plant food.”

The plans also include a skate park, and West “mentioned something called a ‘hydrogen pulse detonation pump’ as a shower technology. He called the entrance ‘the portal,’ ” writer Christina Binkley reports.

OK, my morning eyes initially read that writer’s name as “Christie Brinkley” and I was like, “Awww, good for Christie, doing a ‘Carol’s Second Act'”, but, alas…

This “urine garden” is obviously an ode to Kanye’s two great loves: Kim K and Donald T, both renowned for their love of the hot yellow stuff. As for this fancy new “shower technology”? What’s the point when the showers are already free, golden, and completely organic? Talk about pissing away your money.

But apparently peeing in one’s garden acts as a fertilizer, and is good for composting, kills weeds, and repels those pesky deer from chomping on your greenery. We should alll be peeing in our gardens! And on our lovers’ chests! And in our Spanx! And under Russian surveillance! Pee! Pee! Pee! Pee! Aaand I just pissed myself.

Pic: Wenn.com

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