Category: Grimes
Open Post: Hosted By Grimes Letting Us Know That Her Baby Doesn’t Call Her “Mom”
Grimes and Elon Musk’s son, X Æ A-12, turned one in May and she says that he has begun speaking. Surprisingly, by “speaking” she doesn’t mean he can talk to her via telepathic link. He’s speaking human words. No word if he can say his own name yet (although, at least one of his parents can’t even say his name). But the thing is, little baby Shaeahtwelve isn’t out here saying “mama,” like a peasant. He’s a free-thinking baby! That little boy calls his mother, “Claire.” Which is weird, you’d think that around the house she goes by “Supreme Elven Space Deity Grimes.”
Open Post: Hosted By The $50,000 Tiny Home That Elon Musk ALLEGEDLY Lives In
One of the richest and most self-obsessed men in the world, Elon Musk, has once again tried to convince us of something which will have most people scoffing. Elon, whose net worth is currently at $182 billion, claimed that he lives in a small $50,000 tiny home created by the Las Vegas company Boxabl. The one-time richest man in the world doesn’t spend money on his home, he doesn’t spend money on the mother of his child, Grimes, so what does he spend money on? He already got the expensive hair plugs!
Grimes’ New Song Is About “Defeating” Azealia Banks
Remember the random time when Grimes, her boyfriend Elon Musk, and rapper-slash-pot stirrer Azealia Banks got in an alleged threesome gone wrong, and much more? Well, Grimes clearly hasn’t forgotten it. It might have been slowly picking at her for years, and she’s finally ready to speak her truth and finally bury the big, messy rumor (and Azealia Banks). And she’s doing it through (jazz hands) SONG. Don’t worry about Azealia, though. She was able to fire back and accuse Grimes of being bitter and jealous of Azealia’s talent.
Grimes Claims That Elon Musk Doesn’t Fund Her Music Career
If you had a baby with one of the richest men in the world you’d think that you wouldn’t have to worry about money in any way shape or form ever again. But it seems that is not the case for Grimes. Grimes revealed on TikTok that the father of her baby, 50-year-old billionaire Elon Musk, does not put money into her music career. And so she recently had to sign with a label after being independent for years. BuzzFeed says that the Internet has reacted accordingly and it seems pretty official what the consensus is: Grimes fumbled the Billionaire Bag.
Grimes Tried To Explain Why AI Technology Is Good For Communism, Subsequently Proved She Doesn’t Know What Communism Is
If you were hoping for someone to explain the concept of communism in a way that is even more confusing than the pronunciation of the name X Æ A-12 Musk, well I have some good news for you. Grimes herself is here to do it! Does Grimes have any formal education in political science? No, she’s a college dropout who makes alien birthday party music. But, she used to fancy herself as anti-imperialist back in the day, before she started dating tech billionaire and alleged union hater Elon Musk, so she clearly knows just enough to fake it on TikTok. Like the word “communism,” for starters. And…that’s actually all she really seems to know if that TikTok is any proof.
Grimes Showed Off The “Alien Scars” That She Tattooed On Her Back
Grimes has been busy on earth preparing herself for her new home on Mars. While I hope that includes making sure the canned goods and freeze-dried foods they’ll need to bring for her family’s Maritain pantry are in order (lord knows her partner Elon Musk can’t be bothered with such petty biological imperatives), she also spent some time preparing her body for entry. Perhaps in a misguided attempt to blend in with the native population on Mars, Grimes got a full back tattoo of “alien scars,” all done in white ink. I can’t help but feel sorry for her because she’s gonna feel hella stupid when she gets up there and Mars is crawling with a bunch of basic bitches who worship the Starbucks mermaid as their God and excrete acid from their pores if they don’t get their daily Pumpkin Spice.