Category: Fox News
David Mamet Gave A Bonkers Interview To Fox News Where He Accused Teachers Of Being Student-Grooming Creeps
David Mamet is an iconic American playwright, and maybe the most iconic line from his extensive body of work (which isn’t even material he actually wrote, it was specifically written for the film) is Alec Baldwin’s monologue from Glengarry Glen Ross, in which Alec reminds the agents that coffee is a privilege for closers only, and that one should ABC – always be closing. David Mamet must have misremembered what that acronym stood for, because he recently appeared on Fox News and brought some major ABC energy, except in this case, his mental motivation was to always be crazy. David spoke about the recent conversation surrounding teaching sex, sexuality, and gender in schools, and almost everything that came out of his mouth could have filled 20 coffee mugs with bullshit. Like David’s theory that most teachers are pedophiles, whether they know it or not. Zosia Mamet, come collect your father.
Kirstie Alley Did An Interview With Tucker Carlson And Talked About Drugs And Being Shunned From Hollywood
Scientologist/Trump voter/conspiracy theorist Kirstie Alley went on Fox News for an hour-long interview with Tucker Carlson and, surprise surprise, she said a lot of wild shit. Kirstie says that since she’s come out as conservative, she’s been blackballed from Hollywood and lost all of her celebrity Twitter followers. The 70-year-old actress claims people would rather she cook meth and sleep with hookers than vote for Trump, and that it’s like the Twilight Zone. Former cocaine addict Kirstie also goes off on how everyone in America is overmedicated, drugs are bad, and she finds Scientology a lot more helpful for depression than pills. Then Kirstie pulled out the following gem: She’s friends with parents who smoked weed with their kids, and those kids proceeded to do heroin and overdose. Tale as old as time.
Dr. Oz Issued A Clarification Of His Fox News Comments, Saying He “Misspoke”
Mehmet Oz, who went to medical school and therefore is technically allowed to call himself Dr. Oz, has issued a clarification for statements he made yesterday on Fox News. It seems Mehmet learned the hard way that people get kind of turned off when you talk about the high cost of eating children. At least I think that’s what Mehmet thinks you think he said. What he actually said was marginally less diabolical. His exact words were “I tell ya, schools are a very appetizing opportunity. I just saw a nice piece in The Lancet arguing the opening of schools may only cost us 2 to 3% in terms of total mortality.” Mehmet recorded an emergency “oh shit” video saying he “misspoke” and posted it on Twitter (will he also clarify to the millions of people he addressed on national TV? Probably not!). He doesn’t actually want to eat children, even though their little chubby arms and legs are so appetizing. He just wants to make sure they get fed/fattened up, and if millions of preventable deaths are the cost, mightn’t that be worth it? You know, for mojo? I’m a doctor!
Brit Hume Got Caught Searching For “Sexy Vixen Vinyl”
Sure, this photo of Brit Hume with Chuck Norris is old as hell, but just go with it. It sets the mood. Working at Fox News is oppressive! I’m sure that crew is one fun bunch to hit happy hour with since it’s the only break they get from hearing Sean Hannity brag about how many mansions he owns in South Florida or having to run out and buy self-tanner for any of the blonde ladies (and Steve Doocey) who go on-air. So when 76-year-old Fox News host Brit Hume tweeted a screen shot from a gambling website that claims Donald Trump might beat any Democratic challenge, we shouldn’t have been surprised to see that one of his other browser tabs revealed that he searched for “sexy vixen vinyl.” Continue reading
Robert De Niro Dropped Several F-Bombs On CNN While Talking About Fox News And Trump
What you’re looking at is a picture of Robert De Niro mid-fuck. I’m sure there’s at least a handful of horny Raging Bull fans (or Meet The Parents, I don’t judge) out there who would prefer a literal picture of Robert De Niro mid-fuck. But for the rest of us, there’s more than just a picture of Bobby D’s tight “fuck” mouth and aggressive “Oh yes I did just said fuck on live TV” hands.
A Fox News Strategist Thinks People Are Shooting Up Marijuana
Fox News strategist, David Avella ,wants people to STOP SHOOTING UP MARIJUANA! Avella think’s marijuana is ruining society and people are shitting in the street with weed needles in their arms because of it. Soooo some good news/bad news. The good news is that this problem has been totally eradicated!!! The bad news is that David Avella is an idiot who doesn’t know how marijuana works.