Category: Florida
A Florida Congressional Candidate Fell For A Joke About How Beyonce Is Really An Italian Woman Named Ann Marie Lastrassi
When it comes to politics, America reached certified WTF levels a long, long time ago. But KW Miller, a congressional candidate from Florida (WHERE ELSE?!), took things to new levels by going off on a Twitter rant about Beyonce’s liberal agenda and accused her of really being an Italian woman named Ann Marie Lastrassi. That conspiracy theory was born on Twitter and it was just a joke invented to bring attention to the police-killing of Breonna Taylor. Yes, this is where we’re at in the world.
Open Post: Hosted By The Florida Couple Holding Up Traffic On Their Scooters
Oh, Florida, the land of civilians attacking cars in the middle of the street, alligators in people’s pants, and sooooo much more fuckery. So it should shock nobody that an elderly couple casually down the road on their mobility scooters. These oldies are true rebels for laughing in the face of possibly getting slammed by an angry ass driver.
Open Post: Hosted By The Florida Woman Who Went Wild On An SUV For Blocking The Crosswalk
Be careful the next time you’re driving because if you pass that crosswalk line, your car may be hit with a swift kick of JUSTICE. That’s the punishment one Florida driver got from the Keeper Of The Crosswalk who lost her entire mind on an SUV that got in her way.
Open Post: Hosted By The Grim Reaper Visiting Florida’s Reopened Beaches
Despite coronavirus still being very much a thing, beaches in Jacksonville, Florida reopened up last week and other beaches in Florida have already reopened or are going to this weekend. Well, Florida beach-going messes may soon get a sight of the Grim Reaper as they tell themselves that the sun’s rays kill COVID-19 while sunning their asses. But they may not even blink an eye at that sight because if the Grim Reaper lived in a US state, he’d totally live in Florida.
Tom Brady Got In Trouble For Working Out In A Closed Park In Tampa
Florida is still under a stay-at-home order (for now), but I guess Tom Brady either didn’t get the memo or like many, doesn’t give a fuck about the memo, because he was caught working out in a closed park in Tampa. I guess Tom Brady just doesn’t have the celebrity pull like Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez and can’t get a gym to open up just for him, so he had to work out in a public park like a nobody and got busted! The dumb fuck should’ve just worked out on one of the open beaches and he would’ve never gotten that little slap on his privileged wrist. Gisele Bundchen is totally going to give Tommy a stern talking to for this.
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Florida Has Declared WWE An “Essential Business”
During this time of coronavirus, Florida knows exactly what is essential to them: luring in Spring Breakers and WRASSLIN! The WWE has been declared an “essential business” (it’s Florida, so that makes sense to me) and restarted live shows last night without an audience. So all the people obeying the stay-at-home order could gather together in someone’s living room and crack open a Natty Ice to enjoy a very essential service.