Open Post: Hosted By The Florida Alligator Discovered In Woman’s Pants During A Traffic Stop

May 8, 2019 / Posted by:

A few weeks ago I wrote about horny alligators on the prowl in Florida. Well it was just a matter of time before all that alligator courting worked and one of those randy alligators got into a Florida woman’s pants. As a cop discovered when he pulled over a couple in a routine traffic violation and found out there was an alligator in a woman’s pants.

According to Miami Herald the bizarre (for other states) scenario unfolded like this

When a Florida deputy asked a woman if she had anything else on her during a routine traffic stop, he wasn’t expecting what she did next.

She “proceeded to pull an alligator out of her yoga pants (about one foot in length) and placed it into the bed of the truck,” the Charlotte County Sheriff’s deputy said in an incident report.

To be fair, it sounds like a horny Florida woman may have put the alligator in her own pants?! We can’t just go around accusing horny Florida alligators of pants invading! And we can get our heads all the way out of the gutter because it was a baby alligator, so maybe this Florida woman was just trying to mother the baby alligator? And she also adopted 41 small turtles…. 

The deputy asked for the driver’s license, registration and insurance card. The driver, Michael Clemons, 22, told deputies he and his passenger, Ariel Machan-Le Quire, 25, were trying to collect frogs and snakes from under the overpass.

The deputy then asked permission to search the bags in the truck to make sure “they did not collect any wildlife they were not supposed to have,” the deputy wrote in the report.

Clemons consented and all of his bags had clothes and other personal items, the deputy said. Machan-Le Quire then gave permission to search her backpack, which was on the floorboard near her, according to the report.

“Ariel opened the backpack that was on the passenger’s floorboard that revealed 41 small turtles,” the deputy wrote in the report. Then she pulled the alligator from her pants.

Why were there 41 small turtles? Why were they collecting wild animals under an overpass? What were they going to do with said animals? Are they in the animal trafficking business or are they Florida’s answer to Noah’s Ark? And the most glaringly obvious question is: Are your pants really the best place to store an alligator? I’m pretty sure the answer to most of these questions is “meth“, but it doesn’t look like they were booked on drug charges also, so who knows. I’m just happy to see that Florida continues to bless us with stories that involve “gators” and “down her pants“.

Pic: CHARLOTTE COUNTY SHERIFF’S OFFICE

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