Category: Burger King

Open Post: Hosted By The Lawsuit Accusing Burger King Of Lying About The Size Of Its Whoppers

April 3, 2022 / Posted by:

If you’ve ever held a Burger King Whopper and thought, “This thing is nearly not big enough for my insatiable appetite,” then this is the lawsuit for you! Burger King is being sued for allegedly lying about the size of its food in its advertising. If lying about the size of things is enough to sue someone for, then some of us are in big trouble!

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Open Post: Hosted By Burger King Copying The “Celebrity Meals” Of McDonald’s

September 12, 2021 / Posted by:

In all fairness when I’m hungry I don’t think to myself, “I wonder what kind of fast food items celebrities like to order?” Because I don’t care. Give me the cheapest thing on the menu and let me make it home before the bubble guts claim my existence. However, McDonald’s started the trend when they introduced a line of celebrity meals featuring musical acts like BTS, Saweetie, and Kylie Jenner’s favorite sperm donor Travis Scott. Now Burger King has decided to enter the ring with their own line of celebrity meals, and by “celebrities” I mean a few B-listers who are smart enough to not turn down a husky check from Burger King.

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Open Post: Hosted By Burger King’s “Social Distancing Crowns”

May 26, 2020 / Posted by:

Because coronavirus isn’t going to go away anytime soon, companies are trying to come up with gimmicks ways to stay in business while getting attention and protecting their customers. Burger King Germany is the newest company with a plan: “Social distancing crowns”! They’re leaning into the King-theme and have created gigantic sombrero-like headpieces meant to help keep customers six feet apart. Or as the British upper-class call it: Wedding Hats.

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Open Post: Hosted By Burger King’s Offer To Give Whoppers Out For “Star Wars” Spoilers

December 18, 2019 / Posted by:

Burger King Germany is not messing around when it comes to your devotion for a Burger King Whopper, as it’s offering a FREE Whopper with the catch being that you must be willing to hear a Star Wars spoiler. You can either download an app and it will reward you with a free Whooper if you read a Star Wars spoiler, or you can go into a special store and the more Whoppers you order the more spoilers you’ll get. It’s like a Black Mirror episode for lovers of fast food and Star Wars. That said, my belly would be so full of Whoppers because I haven’t cared about Star Wars since Princess Leia made out with her brother.

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A Vegan Man Is Suing Burger King For Cooking Their Impossible™ Whopper® On The Same Grill As Meat

November 20, 2019 / Posted by:

Burger King describes its Impossible™ Whopper® as being “100% Whopper, 0% Beef.” And there’s a footnote on their website that says if you’re the kind of vegan who says to a vegan trick right before they give you a beej, “Listen, if you’ve eaten so much as a spoonful of Jell-O or licked the tip of a meat eater’s dick, let’s not do this, because I don’t need your tainted saliva passing into my peen slit and contaminating my vegan temple,” then you need to ask for your Impossible™ Whopper® to not be cooked on their grill. This is what it states on their website:

*For guests looking for a meat-free option, a non-broiler method of preparation is available upon request.

But either that footnote isn’t on menus in restaurants, or a vegan man didn’t read it, because now he’s using the legal system to come for a piece of the King’s booty. No, not that kind of booty! The King’s booty is all beef, and this man is strictly pickly (as in pickles, because they’re green, and aren’t meat. Oh shut up!).

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Open Post: Hosted By Burger King Turning A Whopper Into A Diamond Engagement Ring For Pride Month

June 28, 2019 / Posted by:

Burger King Germany is here with another commercial to cap off Pride month because (brace yourselves for some bitterness) the month can’t end without the capitalists squeezing the last ounce of marketable dollars from society. This time the commercial features a gay couple who live in a country where gay marriage is outlawed, getting married in Germany all with the help of Burger King and a diamond engagement ring made from a burned out Whopper…

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