Fans of RuPaul’s Drag Race have put up with a lot during season 12––and I’m not just talking about THAT one queen who nearly ruined everything by serving rotted, stanky CATfish and got her ass edited out of the show. There was also that mostly sloppy Snatch Game that got some people hot and bothered––oh, and then there was Chaka Kahn not knowing what a merkin (or, frankly, what Drag Race) is. Well it’s all over now, and RuPaul has chosen our next queen––just in time for the premiere of Season 5 of RuPaul’s Drag Race: All-Stars on June 5th (oh please, what else are you gonna watch during quarantine?)
At the time of filming, prior to Miss Corona Virus (new drag name), the top 4 queens were Sherry Pie, Crystal Methyd, Gigi Goode, and Jaida Essence Hall. Following Sherry’s disqualification, the top 4 became top 3, and the remaining girls had to duke it out from their respective homes and perform a series of lip-syncs in a bizarre virtual reality viewing party that lacked the glamour and production (and filters) we’re used to seeing on the main stage. Well, FINALLY we have a winner…
…and our new reigning queen is Miss Jaida Essence Hall! The Milwaukee native, known for her stunning features, opulent dress, and political slogan, beat out the heavily favorited and fashionable Gigi and loveable weirdo and El Debarge look-a-like, Crystal.
Also, Heidi N Closet, the gap-toothed treasure from Ramseur, North Carolina, snatched the title of Miss Congeniality and $10,000. AND likely because the season was such a dumpster fire of unforeseeable gaffs and fuck-ups, each eliminated queen got a $2,000 cash tip.
As for the show itself, well, RuPaul’s chief makeup artist, Season 2 runner-up Raven, has obviously not been able to do her job so Ru decided to show up on-camera ~au naturel~ in an ill-fitting face-kini. The results were…interesting. All in all, the finale came off looking as low-budget as season 1, but was nonetheless full of celebrity cameos, including Kim Petras, Robyn, Whoopi Goldberg and the original queen of drag, Dolly Parton! Check out some of the queens’ final lip-syncs below:
Crystal’s avian-themed tribute to Nelly Furtado’s “I’m Like a Bird”, complete with regurgitation:
Gigi’s synth-inspired version of Aha’s “Take on Me”:
Jaida’s flawless living room performance of Ciara’s “Get Up” :
AND the grand finale split-screen lip-synch that determined the winner: