Category: Emmys
Now We Know Where The Sheets To Anna Chlumsky’s Bed In A Bag Look Went
When Anna Chlumsky came strolling up the red carpet of the Emmys last night in an ensemble Michael accurately described as looking very bed in a bag, I knew it was only a matter of time before someone in a set of deluxe full/queen sheets sashayed behind her. And that person was Kristen Bell. To be honest, I don’t know who hit the red carpet first, Kristen or Anna. It’s a real “Which came first, the sheets or the duvet” situation.
Regardless, Kristen is doing just as much for me as Anna’s look was. Maybe more, actually, because I’ve always loved a printed bed sheet. I don’t know if everyone did this, but when I was a kid, I used to make my bed with my sheets pattern-side-down. That way, when I made my bed and pulled back my comforter, you got a subtle hint of my elegant bed linens (ie. my Little Mermaid sheets). I felt so classy, like “I bet this is how Margo from Punky Brewster does her bed.” But while I love Kristen’s expensive floral sheet dress, I don’t know if many of us would want to sleep on it. I think I see beading, and I’m pretty sure none of us would want to roll over in the middle of the night and land cheek-first on a cluster of sharp glass beads.
Of course, the cherry on top of a formal bedding situation has got to be the useless satin runner that lives at the foot of the bed. Luckily, Sarah Hyland has got us covered.
Beyonce’s Vocal Cords Prevented Her From Going To The Emmys
Those selfish vocal cords! How dare they keep Beyonce from a fun night out? The Beyhive only gets so many chances to see their queen appear in public, and you took one of those chances away from them, vocal cords. You better hope The Beyhive doesn’t locate your Instagram account. Just ask the producers of Grease: Live. But more on that in a second.
Tom Hiddleston Tried To Get With Priyanka Chopra
Tom Hiddleston lost the Best Actor in a Limited Series Emmy to Courtney B. Vance last night, but he probably doesn’t care, because he may have won a new partner in PR foolery who will hit the pap stroll with him and make us all forget about the level 10 embarrassing shit he did with his last partner in PR foolery. We will never forget, Tom!
Leslie Jones Joked About Her Nude Pic Leak
Less than a month ago, trolls hacked Leslie Jones’ accounts and threw up a bunch of her personal shit, including naked pics. Leslie Jones is ready to laugh about it and invited millions of people to do so with her during the Emmys last night.
Sarah Paulson’s Plus One At The Emmys Was Marcia Clark
I always thought that Sarah Paulson lived in a house filled with load-bearing beams constructed of forged-together Emmy awards. But that’s not the case. Sarah Paulson has been nominated for a bunch of Emmys, but she’s never won one until last night. Sarah Paulson’s living room trophy case finally has a pointy lady television award in it.
Kevin Spacey’s Hipster Amish-Looking Emmy Date Is Evan From “Evan And Jaron”
Millions of us probably shouted, “Git it, Kevi,” tonight when the Emmys cut to Kevin Spacey sitting in the audience with the lost Hanson brother who ran off to Amish country where he sings and plays guitar every Thursday night in a cold brew coffee shop there.
Kevin Spacey was nominated for the 869th time for House of Cards and sitting next to him was a dude who gave me “Johnny Depp’s stylist” vibes. And sitting behind them were some people who were cursing Kevin’s seat mate out for blocking their view with that douche helmet on his head.
Since random is always finding a way to redefine itself, Kevin’s date is 42-year-old Evan Lowenstein, who made up one-half of the twin brothers pop duo Evan and Jaron. Evan and Jaron did that song that repeatedly fucked our ears raw in the year 2000. I’m going to apologize in advance for putting this in your head again:
Buzzfeed says that Evan doesn’t really do music shit anymore. He’s a manager and he manages Kevin Spacey, which is why they went to the Emmys together. The only thing more random than Evan from Evan and Jaron being Kevin Spacey’s Emmys date is Evan from Evan and Jaron being Kevin Spacey’s manager. I really hope that “early aughts music trick turned manager of a Netflix star” becomes a thing, because I really want one of the dudes from LFO to be Lily Tomlin’s manager.
And here’s Kevin and his manager friend strolling through Milan together last March:
Pics: Wenn.com