Tom Hiddleston lost the Best Actor in a Limited Series Emmy to Courtney B. Vance last night, but he probably doesn’t care, because he may have won a new partner in PR foolery who will hit the pap stroll with him and make us all forget about the level 10 embarrassing shit he did with his last partner in PR foolery. We will never forget, Tom!
A story about Justin Timberlake going on a date with 2011’s Megan Fox, Olivia Wilde, could put a speed addicted insomniac into a coma, so focus on the photo bomber of my dreams Hugh Laurie when your nose starts to make a beeline for your keyboard. Let’s Hugh Laurie’s “Why am I the meat in this soggy sandwich?” face perk you up.
So Olivia Wilde’s divorce to that Italian prince dude isn’t yet final, but that hasn’t stopped her from getting on her Now costar Justin Timberlake (focusonhughlauriefocusonhughlaurie). People says that Jessica Biel’s impeccable strap-on game was the last thing on Justin’s mind at The Roxbury in Hollywood on Saturday night. A source says that Justin and Olivia showed up together in matching white t-shirts and jeans. They both drank vodka and “canoodled” in the VIP area. A different source tells UsWeekly that they were obviously on a date and Justin pretty much kept his hands on Olivia all night.
The rumor is that Olivia ended her marriage, because she was bored of tasting the same ole’ Italian peen all time and wanted to sew her wild oats with the pubes of a dozen one-night stands. Basically, Olivia wants to be a certified slut since she never got the chance. Since then she’s been linked to Ryan Gosling and now Justin Timberlake. Olivia just has to reverse her chocha into Gerard Butler, slam the gas into Jude Law and she’ll be right on schedule! Just follow the Sienna Miller map, Olivia, and you’ll be well on your way.
Meanwhile, you probably haven’t read one word of this shit, because you haven’t taken your eyes off of Hugh Laurie. You made the right decision.
I get so many requests to post more about Hugh Laurie. The dude from “House.” Strange, but true. The panty pudding is a-flowin’ for Hugh Laurie.
One whore e-mailed me once and wrote, “PLEASE POST ABOUT HUGH LAURIE.” I wrote back and told the ho there wasn’t any new pictures of him or anything. The crazy answered, “SO! POST OLD ONES!” There must be a support group this kind of obsession. And you thought my PP, Rojo and Shauna addiction was bad? Ok, it is, but that’s beside the point!
Anyway, when I read that Hugh’s house in Los Angeles was broken into, I immediately figured one of you crazy bitches had something to do with it! You see, Hugh said that while he was sleeping upstairs with his wife, some burglar type broke into his house and stole his laptop. That’s all they took! Hugh said: “I came down this morning and said, ‘Where’s the laptop?’ Then we realized.”
The police think it’s the work of a band of thieves. They have already struck the home of Faith Hill who lives in the same area.
Hugh moved to Los Angeles 4 years ago. His family recently joined him there from England. A friend of Hugh’s told The Sun that he’s kind of shaken up from the incident. The friend said: “Hugh keeps thinking about what would have happened if he had woken up to confront the burglars. There are some crazy people in Los Angeles who don’t think twice about using violence. He was very lucky that he slept through it all.”
I just know one of you picked his lock, went upstairs to his bedroom and posed for pictures next to his sleeping body! While you were leaving his house, you noticed his laptop just lying there and you figured he probably had some dirty pictures on that shit! Wait until Hugh finds the “surprise” you left him in his panty drawer!