Category: Dolly Parton
There’s A Petition To Replace Confederate Monuments With Statues of Britney Spears
As racist, confederate statues glorifying slave-owners and other historical dirtbags continue to topple around the world, ideas have already begun to circulate as to what should replace these empty spaces (Seriously, though, IN THIS ECONOMY, does America actually have an emergency statue fund?) Well, one suggestion that I am formally running up the flagpole and saluting is a statue that would serve as a symbol of everything that the south has gotten right. A symbol of strength, perseverance, and confusion. I’m talking about Miss Britney Jean Spears, y’all. And, fortunately, I’m not the only one.
The Winner Of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” Has Been Crowned
Fans of RuPaul’s Drag Race have put up with a lot during season 12––and I’m not just talking about THAT one queen who nearly ruined everything by serving rotted, stanky CATfish and got her ass edited out of the show. There was also that mostly sloppy Snatch Game that got some people hot and bothered––oh, and then there was Chaka Kahn not knowing what a merkin (or, frankly, what Drag Race) is. Well it’s all over now, and RuPaul has chosen our next queen––just in time for the premiere of Season 5 of RuPaul’s Drag Race: All-Stars on June 5th (oh please, what else are you gonna watch during quarantine?)
Dolly Parton’s Company Produced “Buffy The Vampire Slayer”
It seems like every minute, we mere mortals get another peak into the glamorous life of country music queen, and living legend, Dolly Parton. Not only is she reading us bedtime stories during the COVID-19 pandemic, and pushing Playboy to include her on their cover once again, but she’s revealed her husband’s three-way dream with Jennifer Aniston, oh ya and that episode of the Queen Latifah show where she busted out her sickening rap skills…Yes, Dolly is an absolute angel of honesty and transparency who never disappoints with the well-intentioned goods. But she kept a HUGE secret from the world and now it’s out and changes EVERYTHING (not really).
Dolly Parton Is Going To Tuck Us All In For The Next 10 Weeks
Just about the only living celebrity I’m willing to put my unreserved faith in as a supremely decent human being is Dolly Parton. And not that I ever have, but I won’t hear a word against her! Time and time again, Dolly’s proven her goodness through gracious acts of charity and audacious displays of glamour. According to Rolling Stone, the theatrical release of a documentary about Dolly’s long-running children’s literacy foundation, Imagination Library, which has provided over 100 million free books to kids since 1990, has been corona-delayed. But Dolly, being Dolly, is turning lemons into sparkling lemonade served in a rhinestone pitcher with a splash of bourbon for those who want it. To help us through this crisis, Dolly’s decided to read us all bedtime stories.
We Are Now Living In A World Without Kenny Rogers In It
Because 2020 just has to keep showing us that it is the worst, the iconic Kenny Rogers has died. If you aren’t really much of a fan of country music, but are a fan of country-pop duets that make your ear holes swoon, you should be in mourning. And if you aren’t really much of a fan of country music or country-pop duets, but you are a fan of roasted chicken, you should be in mourning. And if you aren’t really much of a fan of country music, country-pop duets, or roasted chicken, but you are a fan of luscious silver hair that looks like the majestic wings of the most extra and opulent angel, you should be in mourning. What I’m saying is that everybody should be mourning this country music, roasted chicken, and glamour legend. Kenny was 81.
Open Post: Hosted By Dolly Parton Letting Playboy Know That She’s Ready To Grace Their Cover With Her Beauty Again
Thank your lucky stars, because you’re smack dab in the middle of a Dolly Parton Renaissance. The last few months Dolly’s been out there hustling her new wig line, her 50th anniversary celebration at the Grand Ole Opry, her Netflix series Heartstrings, and her lifestyle brand. She also set the internet aflame with that dumb LinkedIn/Facebook/Instagram/Tinder thing all your aunts did, AKA the Dolly Parton challenge.
Recently, while promoting her new A&E documentary on 60 Minutes: Australia, she shared the happy news that she’ll never retire, and, in fact, would love to pose for Playboy again. Continue reading