We Are Now Living In A World Without Kenny Rogers In It 

March 21, 2020 / Posted by:

Because 2020 just has to keep showing us that it is the worst, the iconic Kenny Rogers has died. If you aren’t really much of a fan of country music, but are a fan of country-pop duets that make your ear holes swoon, you should be in mourning. And if you aren’t really much of a fan of country music or country-pop duets, but you are a fan of roasted chicken, you should be in mourning. And if you aren’t really much of a fan of country music, country-pop duets, or roasted chicken, but you are a fan of luscious silver hair that looks like the majestic wings of the most extra and opulent angel, you should be in mourning. What I’m saying is that everybody should be mourning this country music, roasted chicken, and glamour legend. Kenny was 81.

Kenny’s family let the world know late last night that he died at his home while surrounded by them. Kenny has been sick for a bit. He had to cancel the remaining dates on his farewell tour, Gambler’s Last Deal, in 2018 because of health reasons. Kenny has been under hospice care and died of natural causes. Due to the most disgusting fame whore of 2020 (coronavirus), his family is planning a small service. They hope to do a bigger memorial service for fans in the future.

Kenny was born in Houston, Texas and had 7 brothers and sister. He was born fourth. Kenny knew music was his calling from an early age and after trying out rock n’ roll, psychedelic rock, jazz (the jazz group he was in, the Bobby Doyle Three, had some success but broke up in 1966), and folk (he was a singer and bass player in the New Christy Minstrels), he formed the First Edition in 1967 with formers members of the New Christy Minstrels. Who knew that New Edition was the son of First Edition (served in a bowl of sarcasm)?!

First Edition later became Kenny Rogers and the First Edition, and they had several country and pop hits before breaking up in 1976. And then Kenny Rogers went solo and released his first album Love Lifted Me that same year. The biggest hit from that album was Lucille, the musical tale of a cheating wife who is looking for fun and hot times in a bar, only to get her buzz killed by her heartbroken husband who cries and whines about how she left him with four children to take care of. Don’t you hate when that happens? Side note: Lucille was the name of Kenny’s mom.

After Love Lifted Me, Kenny made three more albums (Kenny Rogers, Daytime Friends, and Love or Something Like It) before putting out The Gambler in 1978. The Gambler was a gigantic hit, and gave us the country masterpiece that everyone’s auntie and uncle loves to drunkenly sing on a karaoke machine at the family reunion.

And in the 1980s came the Iconic Duets era of Kenny’s career. In 1980, Kenny and Kim Carnes joined forces to warn us about the dangers of fucking with tricks who are always dreaming:

Earlier that year, Kenny and Lynda Carter gave us this:

1980 continued to be a big year for Kenny when he released Lady, which was written by Lionel Richie. Lionel and Kenny crooned out that velvet masterpiece together in 2012 at ACM Presents: Lionel Richie And Friends:

In 1983, Kenny teamed up with Sheena Easton for this perfection:

Also in 1983, the dynamic country glamour duo of Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton gifted us with this flawless Bee Gees-created diamond that needs no explanation:

With nearly every thing that happens in the world, my mind immediately wonders, “But what does Dolly think about this?” My mind wondered that something extra this morning for obvious reasons. Dolly paid tribute to her partner in musical perfection after finding out about the sad news on the TV, which is a much more elegant way than I found out (through a TMZ alert on my phone). Warning: Dolly gets choked up at the end, which ripped all my heartstrings in two.

Yes, Kenny Rogers also won several Grammys and was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame, but he made magic beyond the world of music. He acted in the 1982 movie Six-Pack and is responsible for one of Will Sasso’s greatest performances. And Kenny was also a roasted chicken mogul king. Kenny Rogers Roasters was founded in 1991. It changed ownership a few times throughout the years and all of its U.S. restaurants are closed, but it still exists in Asia and the Middle East.

Rest in peace, Kenny Rogers. I’m sure that when you got to the gates of heaven, the first thing you said to the guard was, “Yes, I know when to fold ’em. You don’t have to say it.”

Pic: Getty

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