Justin Bieber has the unfortunate distinction of having a dusty dingleberry for a father, and that guy’s name is Jeremy Bieber. In recent years he’s re-emerged into Justin’s life with arms open wide, but not for hugs. Mainly that’s his way of saying, “I need THIS much cash to fuel my next few nights of partying.” What a fun guy! Or, a fungi. Meaning he’s a spore-filled lump of a person who doesn’t know what to say out of his mouth. Jeremy has fathered four kids with multiple women, so during Pride month; he wanted to remind everyone that if you celebrate the gays, you also need to celebrate the guys and gals who created them. And nobody was here for his comments, especially Justin.
Going as Drake’s dad, Dennis Graham, for Halloween is inspired. Over the years, Dennis has served look, after look, after look. You’ve got your ’70s pimp in a red fedora with coordinating sunglasses. You’ve got ‘70s pimp in a black fedora with coordinating sunglasses. You’ve even got your ‘70s pimp in a crocheted beanie with coordinating sunglasses. Sometimes he’ll really change it up and give you Steve Harvey as ‘70s pimp in a lime green fedora with coordinating sunglasses. If you want to rock a Dennis Graham fit for Halloween, you’ve got options. But you’ve also got to be aware that a Dennis Graham costume always doubles as a deadbeat dad costume. Drake told us so himself! That’s why it’s so surprising that Drake embraced his inner deadbeat dad to cosplay his own deadbeat dad!
The last time we dealt with Kanye-related drama, his wife Kim Kardashian was fighting with his Chicago youth charity. This time the Kanye-adjacent drama involves the recipient of Kanye’s $85,000 gift of tasteless album cover art, Pusha-T, and Drake. And it’s boiled over to the point of Pusha-T throwing out a deadbeat dad accusation.
Well, now we know one of the reasons why Tom Cruise is always running isn’t that he’s in a rush to see his kid.
The last time we checked the pulse on Tom Cruise’s relationship with the former chosen child of Scientology, Suri Cruise, TMZ was saying that Maverick hadn’t seen his kid in almost a year. However, it looks like Tom Cruise can officially start thinking about submitting a new member application to the Deadbeat Daddy Club, because according to the National Enquirer (via Daily Mail), that number is closer to two years.
A source claims that Tom hasn’t been seen in public with Suri in 800 days (basically two years and two months for brains that are still fucked up from turkey and booze to do the math). The source claims there are two reasons for why Tom is pulling an I Don’t Know Her on Suri. One, because he’s busy running around in front of a camera, and two, because he just doesn’t really care now that Suri is no longer the bathroom-crying Scientology princess she once was. I’m sure Leah Remini just sent Suri a text message that said: “Don’t worry, kid, he pretty much did the same thing to me too.”
Tom Cruise doesn’t exactly love it when people call his ass out for being a shit father, so I’m sure the National Enquirer will receive a very bitchy email from Tom about all this on Monday.
The most obvious reason for why Suri Cruise hasn’t been seen on a Saturday Daddy Date with Tom in 800 days is because she and her mother no longer worship at the feet and busted teeth of L. Ron Hubbard. But maybe Tom has been hanging out with her and we just haven’t noticed? Maybe Tom keeps a pair of regular shoes in his car for when he visits with Suri, and without his signature 3-inch lifts, he’s short enough to pass as just another one of Suri’s friends. That’s actually very clever of you, Tommy Girl.
I’d make a joke about Brandi Glanville laughing manically as she repeatedly pokes a pin in the wallet area of her Eddie Cibrian voodood doll, but that unemployed troublemaker is in no position to be laughing at anyone’s financial situation. But back to Eddie and his Spitting Image puppet-looking wife LeAnn Rimes. Eddie and LeAnn are allegedly so broke that they have been forced to beg their friends for money. Except it’s not like a “Can I borrow $20?” kind of thing, it’s more like a “Can you loan me a couple hundred thousand dollars” friendship-killing kind of thing.
Jermaine Jackson got some major side eye when he threw down over $160,000 for a Ferrari right before the courts stamped a big ass DENIED across the collective foreheads of the Jackson family and their lawsuit against AEG for the wrongful death of MJ. According to TMZ, papers have been filed by the The L.A. County Child Support Services Dept. asking for Jermaine to be held in contempt for non-payment of child support which could send his ass to jail for 20 days.
JJ has already paid back $80,000 in 2011, $33,000 earlier this year and has bestowed upon his children a whopping $85 on the $12,000 he still owes. Jermagesty (dear Lord, I can’t) and Jafaar’s mother Alejandra Jackson has gone as far as to have Jermaine’s wages garnished and I can’t blame her for even a second for being pissed that her ex-husband is tooling around town in a damn Ferrari while he owes her money. Hell, he could be driving the 1971 VW Beetle painted with red and black primer that had a massive exhaust leak and a “Save the Lesbians” sticker on the back that I had when I was young and broke as fuck and I STILL wouldn’t blame her.
If he needs some money, he can start by pawning some of that jewelry and listing that fanny pack on eBay with the hope his spirit animal in douchebaggery bids high.
(Pic via FameFlynet)