Open Post: Hosted By Justin Bieber’s Latest Evil Alliance With Crocs
Since Satan is as bored AF as we are during this pandemic and hates our guts in general, he’s been repeatedly summoning Justin Bieber. Biebs is currently at the ominous age of 27, but Satan hasn’t been summoning him for that reason.
Yesterday we learned that Biebs’ cell phone quit his whiny toddler ass, though Biebs tried to spin it as his own decision. Before that, we were forced to look at his pre-pubescent boy bits as two doomed makeup artists with therapists on speed dial sprayed over his badly tattooed ode to Jesus and Animal Planet. Today’s story involves Biebs once again working with those who are in charge of foisting Crocs on polite society. No good can come of either party individually, but this is a straight-up crime.
Page Six reports:
Justin Bieber has once again teamed up with the footwear company for his second Drew House collaboration.
The “Anyone” singer, 27, announced on Thursday that the forthcoming Crocs x Justin Bieber with Drew House Classic Clog 2 will be released on March 16.
It’s a lavender classic clog with Jibbitz in the likeness of classic Drew House characters, including a teddy bear, a rabbit and more.
The shoe will also come with a pair of Drew House-branded socks.
Why? Why? No one has yet recovered from the first hell-barf mashup, but maybe I’m being too harsh here. They sold out in 90 minutes. Hundreds of thousands of hormone-challenged twelve-year-olds were frantically refreshing the Crocs website to finally display the sulfur-yellow, pimped-out abominations. Let that sink in while still attempting to grasp a glimmer of hope for the next generation.
This follow-up Drew House collection is a lilac-jizzed, hole-punched assault on human dignity, and drops on Tuesday, March 16, three days before the droppage of Biebs’ next studio album, Justice. Now we’ll all have a shrieky soundtrack to accompany the horror show on everyone’s hooves.
Here is the latest round of “Biebs hurling the sartorial equivalent of his filled diapers at all of us.”
Pic: Crocs