Category: Cats
Open Post: Hosted By The Crazy “Phantom” Cat Shaver Of The UK
If you own a cat in England or Scotland, beware. There’s a phantom cat shaver on the loose! Some strange person with an apparent cat hair aversion is wandering the streets of the UK, giving felines a shave and a haircut without their permission. Local pet lovers and authorities are baffled, and, unfortunately, the perpetrator is still on the loose. I wish this story were an April Fool’s Day joke because no pussy should involuntarily go hairless!
Open Post: Hosted By The Woman Who Used Grindr To Find Her Missing Cat
I doubt many people searching for sexy times on Grindr are thinking of using it as a means to locate lost animals. But much like Grindr’s unofficial catchphrase, sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures. Hence the woman from the town of Brighton in England who reached out to users on both Grindr and Tinder to locate her missing cat, Ruby. And I’m surprised that, since they’re in England, at no point during her investigative search on Grindr, someone didn’t message her and say, “This ain’t the place you come lookin’ for pussy, honey.”
Open Posted: Hosted By A Cat And A Racoon Dramatically Facing Off
Cats vs. dogs. Cats vs. mice. Cats vs. cats. Cats vs. you any time you don’t feed them at the exact second they’re hungry. Yes, cats have many, MANY nemeses. Just look at one sideways, and you’ve made an enemy for life. That’s what a raccoon recently experienced when scavenging for food around a home in Canada. Rather than coming across a tipped-over trash can with half-eaten Hungry Man meals inside, the raccoon came face to face with Lily, the feline ruler of the house. Only a glass door stood between the two foes. Who won the dramatic standoff? (The cat, obviously).
Open Post: Hosted By The TSA Reminding People To Not Send Pets Through The Airport Security X-Ray Machine
Every day in airports across the world, security screeners probably get heaping eyefuls of the skeletal inner workings of double dongs, anal beads, and pocket pussies. But earlier this week, airport security agents experienced the utter shock of seeing the inside of an actual pussy! Surprisingly, this isn’t even the first time this has happened, and the TSA is reminding travelers that sending furry friends through the x-ray machine is a no-no, and they must let the cat out of the bag.
Open Post: Hosted By Honey The Cat’s Expensive $5400 Wardrobe
Some people are very proud of their wardrobes filled with the latest fashions and fads (don’t look at mine. It’s about as old and holey as the Vatican). I mean, there are whole TikTok and Instagram genres dedicated to showing off fast fashion hauls, and retro thrifting buys. But all those people pale in comparison to the fabulous Honey. While you sit there eating chips directly from the bag in your knockoff Zara pajamas, this cat’s wardrobe is filled with Louis Vuitton bags and Chanel accessories! We’ve all been out-fashioned by a cat.
Open Post: Hosted By JaBent, The Kitty Who Discovered Heating Pads
Pet Helpful reports that a Canadian woman named Lauren recently purchased a heating pad to help soothe her monthly cramps. Unfortunately for poor, sore Lauren, it was immediately stolen when she turned the pad on. The culprit goes by JaBent (birth name: Bentley). He’s white with yellow-green eyes, stands at 9.5 inches, and weighs approximately 10 pounds. JaBent is Lauren’s kitty, and he doesn’t give one single solitary fuck that his mother is suffering from agonizing abdominal pain. All he cares about it is the heating pad. HEATING PAD IS MOTHER NOW.