Category: Barack Obama
A Suspicious Package Has Also Been Sent To Robert De Niro
Yesterday, several suspicious packages were delivered to some very high-profile Democrats, like former President Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. The internet has taken no time in nicknaming the person or persons responsible the MAGAbomber, instantly making MAGA hats just a little less cute (dropping them from “not very” to “burn it“). More sketchy packages have been sent to other high-profile Democrats including former Joe Biden, congresswoman Maxine Waters, and vocal Trump-hater Robert De Niro.
“Suspicious Packages” Were Sent To The Clintons, Barack Obama, And CNN’s Headquarters (UPDATE)
If you’re a Democratic politician, don’t get anywhere near any kind of package today. If you’re a Democratic politician and you picked up a trick on Grindr, get your security to sniff his package out before you open it. If you’re Hillary Clinton and were expecting an Amazon package filled with Halloween-themed scrunchies (shut up, just let me believe that Hillary Clinton is still a scrunchie addict), don’t even think about getting near it when it arrives. Because some scary possible terrorist shit is going down.
Rose McGowan Says She’s The Reason Ronan Farrow’s Exposé Never Aired On NBC
Back in February, Rose McGowan’s book tour for Brave showed signs of possibly going down in flames. So Rose decided to take a little time out from the spotlight. Rose is back to promote the next episodes of her E! docuseries Citizen Rose, and clearly she’s been storing thoughts like a squirrel stores nuts for the winter, because she’s got a lot to say.
All Of You And The Obamas Have Something In Common: You Weren’t Invited To Prince Hot Ginge’s Wedding
No, I am not including myself in that headline, because I got my authentic invitation in the mail, bitch!
But sadly for Barack and Michelle Obama, their mailbox didn’t get fucked by an invitation to the British royal wedding of May 2018 (I’m not going to say “British royal wedding of the year,” because Jodie Marsh could still marry someone this year). Although, neither did the mailbox of any other world leader, past or present.
The Moment When Barack Obama Blatantly Lied To Prince Hot Ginge’s Face (Probably)!
My favorite journalist Prince Hot Ginge interviewed our 44th POTUS Barack Obama on BBC Radio 4, and in between fluffy questions about the political dangers of social media and the pressures of being president, PHG asked hard-hitting ones like “boxers or briefs?”, “Rachel or Monica?” and “Kim or Khloe?” Obama wouldn’t answer the last one, but he should’ve said, “You mean Kim Fields or Chloe Lattanzi, right? Because they are the only Kim and Chloe I care about!” There was one answer that Obama gave and it made me wish he was hooked up to a lie detector machine, because I really want to see a lie detector needle spell the words “Bitch, PLEASE!” on a piece of lie detector paper.
Barack Obama May Have Spilled Some News On The Twin Messiahs (But Probably Not)
All week, the Beyhive has been on HIGH ALERT as they wait to hear the news that their King, Beyonce, has gifted the world with the real-life Gemini Twins. There’s been rumors that Beyonce was getting ready to give birth, was in the middle of giving birth and has already given birth. I’m not sure if I believe the rumors that Beyonce and Jay Z’s twins are already here, because I don’t remember seeing Jesus float down from heaven while holding two diaper bouquets to give to his twin successors.