Robert De Niro Shit All Over Trump At The Tonys

June 11, 2018 / Posted by:

Since that headline doesn’t say “another Russian hooker wants to shit all over Trump” (you know he’s a scat queen too), Trump probably didn’t like Robert De Niro shitting all over him at the Tony Awards last night, and I’m sure he’s going to tweet gloat about how a game show with one of his supporters in it beat the Tonys in the ratings. This really is Trump’s America when Family Feud with the Kartrashians on it beat the Tonys….

The Band’s Visit won ten Tony awards last night, Laurie Metcalf got a lot closer to getting a Queen of Broadway crown by winning her second Tony in two years, and the theater kids from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School did Seasons of Love from Rent, but Robert De Niro launching two f-bombs at Trump temporarily stole the headlines. Because finding a Trump supporter at the Tonys is probably like trying to find a  Snickers bar at Tom Brady’s house, De Niro was hit with a wave of claps and cheers afterward. The only way he could’ve gotten a bigger applause from those theaters queens is if he shouted: ETHEL MERMAN WAS ROBBED!

De Niro was at the Tonys to introduce a performance of  Springsteen on Broadway, and as soon as he got to the mic, one beautiful word (fuck) and one ugly word (Trump) blew out of his mouth hole twice.

“I’m going to say one thing, ‘Fuck Trump.’ It’s no longer down with Trump, it’s fuck Trump!”

CBS has the Tonys on a 10-second delay, because who knows what the dirty-mouthed edgy hosts, lukewarm oatmeal (Josh Groban) and boiled cauliflower (Sara Bareilles), might do. So CBS bleeped De Niro’s fuck bombs, but since Australia appreciates the fuck word as one of the most eloquent words in the English language, they didn’t censor shit.

Since De Niro realized he had the crowd in his hands, I’m surprised he also didn’t say, “And you know what? Fuck vaccines too!

Now, I’m all for anyone hitting Trump with the fuck word, but Robert De Niro was at the Tonys! Where’s the drama? Where’s the theater? Where’s the spark? The way he said it was the way that somebody’s Trump-hating aunt would say it in between bites of turkey at Thanksgiving dinner. It was so basic. De Niro should’ve let a pro handle it, and by that I mean fellow Trump hater Patti LuPone. Patti would’ve sang out “fuuuuuck Trump” and it would’ve been so powerful and strong that it would’ve made Trump prolapse. And she would’ve won several Tonys for it.

The complete list of Tony winners is here, and if you need to cleanse your innocent ears from the sound of Robert De Niro saying a word he’s said at least a billion times before on screen with some wholesome show tunes, here’s the performances from last night.

Mean Girls:

My Fair Lady, and in this one I’m guessing Lauren Ambrose plays Eliza Doolittle as though Eliza Doolittle was possessed by the same crazy-eyed demon who possessed Catherine Zeta-Jones during her A Little Night Music performance :

SpongeBob Squarepants:

Once On This Island:


Bad Wigs: The Donna Summer Musical:


And finally, Bruce Springsteen who mumbled on for so damn long that I was hoping Robert De Niro would wake me up for a second by crashing the stage to let out one more fuck bomb.

Pic: CBS

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