People reports that Bravo has announced that The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City is coming. Is this the version of The Real Housewives franchise meant for Disney Junior? How are these ladies supposed to get into dramatic meltdown mode without the benefit of alcohol and everyone supposedly happily married? Is Andy Cohen ok? Where exactly are we supposed to harvest the appropriate drunk psycho lady vs. cat memes from with this?

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YouTuber Paige Ginn did what YouTubers exist to do: get attention for doing stupid shit. Paige took on gender reveals by farting out colored gas in a video. And it looks like a Smurf blew smoke up her ass, because she farted out a blue (for boy) fart.

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Because the world hasn’t talked enough about T.I. checking up on his daughter’s hymen, we talk about T.I. checking up on his daughter’s hymen. We also talk about Ric Ocasek’s petty move from the grave, David Chang’s conspiracy theory on why In-N-Out’s fries are like that, and the internet’s stories about what was the most unprofessional thing they pulled while on the job.

We also get into BH90210 getting canceled, Brigitte Nielsen slapping down Madonna and revenge screwing her husband back in the day, the CGI James Dean of terror, gender neutral cocktails, and sleep divorce, which is when you and your piece sleep in different bedrooms, and not when you sleep walk your way to a divorce lawyer’s office. But now I want to hear about that kind of sleep divorce.

You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, Spotify, and Google Play. If you’ve got a question or want us to cover something, e-mail us at: [email protected]!

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It was just a couple of months ago when Jeff Goldblum was charming everyone inside/out by pretending he didn’t know about Spider-Man leaving Marvel while dressed like Mr. Furely at Comic-Con. Well, I guess Jeff Goldblum was bored by the people slobbering over his charms and decided he needed to turn some against him, because he has let everyone know that Woody Allen is innocent in his eyes and that Woody’s not on his list of bitches he won’t work with. Jeff Goldblum’s defense of Woody comes after one writer claims she’s heard many stories from women about Jeff Goldblum. So you should probably let your mom know that there’s a chance she may have to take down the topless Jeff Goldblum poster she’s got hanging on the inside of one of her cabinets in her craft room.

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It seems that Sandra Bullock and fellow super famous rich person, Ellen DeGeneres, are coming for a group of people who keep using their likeness to endorse their products without permission. You think Ellen DeGeneres and Sandra Bullock use $5 eye cream? Well, no, but they’d gladly get paid to say they use $5 cream, something these companies aren’t doing and people are falling for it. So Sandy and Ellen are suing.

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The internet broke in two from Keanu Reeves being seen holding hands with someone who wasn’t a 20-year-old bikini model. After Allison and I talk about that, we get into Emma Watson giving us her own personal “conscious uncoupling,” and discuss when is the right time to start celebrating International Mariah Carey Day (aka Christmas). I know, that shit hasn’t been fought about enough.

We also say words about the 9 to 5 sequel not happening, Colin Farrell as The Penguin, Baby Spice accidentally sending a sext to her mom, Kristen Stewart wanting to marry Robert Pattinson, and Richard Gere being a dad to a newborn at 70.

We end with reading listener emails, and yes that includes one about a digital rectal massage. We stay on brand!

You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, Spotify, and Google Play. If you’ve got a question or want us to cover something, e-mail us at: [email protected]!

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