Open Post: Hosted By Jeff Goldblum’s Wondrous Response To The Spider-Man Mess

August 26, 2019 / Posted by:

While pushing his new Disney+ docu-series The World According to Jeff Goldblum at D23 Expo over the weekend, Jeff Goldblum acted like he found out about Spider-Man possibly leaving the Marvel Cinematic Universe from a reporter for a Variety. Just like his shirt, Jeff took us through a roller coaster of emotions from confused to crestfallen before gracefully crash-landing by speaking (maybe?) Italian. It’s everything you could hope for from a Jeff Goldblum interaction.

According to Uproxx:

There was an avalanche or two of news out of this year’s D23 Expo, and with good reason: Disney now owns everything. But the best thing to come out of it was a red carpet interview with Jeff Goldblum, in which he was belatedly informed, live on camera, about Spiderman leaving the MCU. Yes, it was even better than word of a Jeff Goldblum tv show.

Jeff’s confusion and shock was some next level shit. I mean….my college’s motto was..”Can’t nobody tell me nothin’” and I learned how to read from a Pizza Hut, and even I could understand the very basic concepts this reporter was articulating. Jeff on the other hand, had to listen very closely, and mime her words as she said them.  It’s as if he was on LSD and she was a cat telling him the mysteries of life.

It’s an incredible moment, worth breaking down. As the news trickles out, first his jaw slackens. Then his eyes violently flutter. Then he starts mouthing something, something vague. Then, when Variety’s capable, cucumber-cool journo mentions divorce, he explodes: His eyes shoot wide open, his body convulses, and he lets out a quick, violent “No!”

Goldblum manages to gain some control over his body and words, replying, “This is the first I’ve heard of it,” he says. “I’m crestfallen!” Then he loses control again, repeatedly stumbling over the letters “sk” before finally regaining control enough to say, “What’s happening?”

Here’s the clip in all its Goldblum Glory:

Jeff Goldblum is not the Marvel-Sony superhero we need, but he’s the one we deserve. If only they gave out Oscars for Best Performance By A Jeff Goldblum Who Is Trying To Act Like He Gives A Big Giant Shit When He Really Doesn’t.

Pic: Twitter

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