This corn-loving Siamese Cat!

There’s approximately 7 billion videos on YouTube that proves that cats are really damn weird and here’s another one to throw on that pile, and strangely enough that pile is next to the pile of eaten corn cobs this pussy has devoured. In this clip, the part of Pimp Mama Kris is being played by that cat and the part of the souls of innocent children is being played by that corn. Just like PMK’s favorite thing in the world to do is nom nom nom up the souls of innocent children, this pussy’s favorite thing in life is eating corn.

The best part really is that corn-crazed pussy’s cat friend throwing a look like, “Yeah, that bitch is crazy for corn.”

I mean, we all eat delicious corn as though it’s the last time we’re going to eat corn and we’re not going to let any trick take it away from us, but I didn’t know some cats eat it like that too. That cat is going crazy on that corn. It’s not going to let any bitch get in between it and that corn. It’s “Diz Iz Mah Cornz” eyes and Lucifer growl tells you that it’s possessed by that corn! It’s a pussy of the corn. I think it might love corn more than Teddy Bear loves corn.

That video was uploaded onto YouTube two Junes ago, but I’m not sure when it was shot (judging by the blurriness and that tablecloth, I’m guessing 1984 or current day Russia). Whenever it was shot, I’m sure that cat is still eating corn like there’s really no tomorrow.

And it’s all fun and laughs until someone in the comment section says, “Corn kills cats!” But in the meantime, my thoughts and prayers are with that cat’s litter box, because you know it suffered some serious shit the next day. That cat probably redefined the phrase “cornhole.”

via Uproxx

Regina!

When a song called “Baby Love” came out in 1986, my ears immediately told me it was a Madonna song, because it sounded like a Madonna song and her voice sort of sounded like Madonna’s voice. We didn’t have MTV or anything like that back then so a lot of the time I never got to put a face to the voice (which is why for a little while I thought Taylor Dane was black). But “Baby Love” didn’t come out of the mouth of Madge. “Baby Love” was written and sung by Regina and she worked with one of Madge’s producers Stephen Bray on it which is why it’s kind of Madonna-ized.

Regina had the face of a Jane Wiedlin Precious Moments figurine, a hairstyle like Angelica’s Cynthia doll and dressed like a homeless woman who just came into a lot of money. “Baby Love” was her biggest hit and she had a few semi-dance hits after that, but she pretty much disappeared from the music stroll by the 90s.

Wikipedia says that Regina lives in Austin, TX with her pediatric neurosurgeon husband and her four kids.

Here’s hoping that every now and again, Regina puts all the hair ties and scrunchies in her hair, slips on a monster fur coat and sings “Baby Love” to her husband’s patients.

The Palin family’s drunken, messy, sloppy, snowmobile tussle is truly the trashy gift that keeps on giving.

The other day, audio came out of the Camo Duchess of Wasilla, Bristol Palin, crying out to the police after her family was involved in a booze-fueled fight at a snowmobile party in Anchorage. TMZ also posted pictures of Bristol’s LIFE-THREATENING (not at all) cuts and bruises. There’s been several versions of what happened. Some says that the Palins started it and others (read: The Mama Grizzly Gang) says that the Palins are the innocent victims in all of this. Bristol, a lifelong card carrying member of the victim club, farted out a blog post (via UsWeekly) about this SCANDAL and of course, she writes that her family is innocent and the “liberal media” is only dragging the story out because they’re conservatives. Bristol wonders if we even heard about Joe Biden’s coke-snorting son getting kicked out of the Navy for Lohan’ing it or the story about Chelsea Clinton’s fraudster father-in-law. Um, Bristol should take a tip from her mom and read ALL the papers, because those stories were covered.

Continue reading

Every now and again the phrase “THE FUCK?” has to redefine itself and show you that it still has it. Case in point: Radar says that Michelle Clunie (that’s Melanie Marcus to those of us hos who religiously watched the US version of Queer as Folk) has come down with a case of the BABIES!!! and Bryan Singer is the dude who fapped into the turkey baster that knocked her up.

Radar’s source is saying that Michelle will birth out Bryan’s baby in December and that he’s paying her $1 million to be his surrogate. But TMZ has a different story. Their source (aka Bryan’s damage control specialist) says that Bryan isn’t raising the baby by himself. It’s a Clay Aiken situation (or kind of a Lindsay and Brian situation if you watched QaF). Michelle and Bryan have been best friends forever and decided they wanted to have and a raise a human child together. The source says they made the decision before Bryan Singer was hit with sexual assault allegation after sexual assault allegation. The source also denies that Bryan filled Michelle’s checking account with $1 million, but he did buy her a house near his home in West Hollywood and he’s paying for all of her living expenses. So when you add up the living expenses and the West Hollywood house, Michelle is probably making more than $1 million. #getmoneyiguessbitch

The source also let it be known that Michelle’s name will be on the birth certificate and the kid will live with her. Bryan is also free of sexual assault lawsuits, for now, because Michael Eagan dropped his lawsuit in August, but he may file again.

I always knew Bryan Singer was the “daddy” type, but not the actual daddy type. Isn’t a drooling, crying, burping baby going to mess with his twinks and coke pool party schedule? I don’t know if he’s doing this to look more family friendly for the X-Men crowd, but throw in Melanie Marcus and the whole thing becomes a thick layer of HUH? I just want to slip into a counter seat at Liberty Diner, order a root beer float and ask Debbie what she thinks about this.

Lindsay Lohan dropped her 2 cents two 8 balls into the presidential race in Brazil and if you’re wondering why an American mess who is now living in England suddenly cares about Brazilian politics, the answer is: cooooooooooke!

Out of nowhere, presidential candidate Aécio Neves got a bump of support from the First Lady of Train Wrecks when she tweeted (and later deleted) her official endorsement for him. Even though LiLo chopped up that tweet and snorted it up, it still turned into a full-on meme in Brazil. Aécio Neves loves to party and Buzzfeed says it’s rumored that coke has made its way up into his nostrils a few (or more than a few) times. He was also involved a coke ESCANDALO (Side note: Google Translate tell me escandalo is escandalo in Portuguese) when the federal police found 4.5 pounds of cocaine on a helicopter that was owned by his company and belonged to one of his political allies. So LiLo publicly supporting him is what meme dreams are made of.

A “source” close to LiLo tells TMZ that she’s showing support for Neves, because she takes several “business trips” to Brazil and one of her “good contacts” in the country thinks he should win over his opponent Dilma Rousseff.

Okay, but who is Glen Coco endorsing since I’m sure that’s the only endorsement the people of Brazil care about.

LiLo suddenly showing an interest in Brazilian politics when an ALLEGED fellow member of the White (As In Coke) Party runs for president is too perfect. Either she’s all out of clues or she’s secretly working for Dilma Rousseff and knows that an endorsement from her will kill Neves’ campaign. If that’s the case, well played, Team Rousseff.

Behold, the glorious portrait that needs to be Florida’s new state flag. And if Butterfly by Crazy Town was a human, that’s what it would look like.

The tattooed hunk of hotness in the picture above and below used to be a cook at a Chili’s in Valrico, FL, but was fired for bringing thirty servings of hot, greasy sex to the kitchen. Justin Speekz (who sometimes raps in the Tampa area as J-Speekz, because of course he does) decided that what the eyes of the world really need is some fap material in the form of pictures of him sprawled out shirtless on a prep table at Chili’s. Now you know that Chili’s dipping sauces get their saltiness from armpit drool. J-Speekz took picture after picture of him throwing, “You know you want to dip this jumbo soft pretzel in your skillet queso,” looks while posing shirtless all around the kitchen of the Chili’s he used to work at. He posted the pictures on Facebook, labeled them “Sexy Cooks of Chili’s” and even tagged the location he worked in. Well, you can’t expect J-Speekz to have charisma, sex appeal AND brains.

Eventually, customers of the Chili’s in Valrico found the pictures on Facebook and I guess they don’t like a little AXE-scented pit hair on their burgers, because they complained to management. J-Speekz was fired and now “Sexy Cooks of Chili’s” is the fap-inducing calendar that never was. ABC Action News says that no health codes were broken since the pictures weren’t taken while J-Speekz was making food. But Chili’s still pink slipped him and they released this statement about it:

“Chili’s clearly does not encourage this type of behavior in our restaurants. We maintain very high standards of food quality, safety and cleanliness and took immediate steps to ensure the restaurant continues to follow these requirements. Additionally, we ended this team member’s employment after learning of his conduct.”

“We maintain very high standards of food quality.” Who ever wrote that mess has obviously never eaten at Chili’s.

Whatever. J-Speekz, who probably tells people that he’s the real inspiration for James Franco’s Spring Breakers character, doesn’t need Chili’s anyway. Chili’s will be sorry when J-Speekz next song about this shit titled “2 Sex-E 4 Chiliz” comes out and becomes the #1 most played song in the world the country Florida Tampa his own iTunes playlist.

And if he still worked at Chili’s, I would. I totally would, because afterward we could eat the baby back ribs he brought home from work.