On the left is a picture of Olivia Munn a year ago. On the right is, get this, Olivia Munn last month. I know, looking at the picture on the right gave me a stage 10 case of the “Harpo Dis Womans,” because I thought it was a completely different person! But seriously, besides the de-drama’d eyebrow situation and her face being SANS freckles, I don’t see much difference between the 2016 picture and the 2015 picture. But 35-year-old Olivia Munn does and she decided to share all the secrets to her different face. The “keeping it real” version of a Hollywood type’s list of beauty secrets looks like this:
2. More Botox.
3. Face skin reupholstery.
4. Full face lipo.
5. Replaced nose with a smaller one that was grown on a lab house rat.
Olivia Munn did none of that, so says Olivia Munn. She wrote on Instagram about how she is addicted to researching “natural and healthy” ways to make the skin on your face look younger. Olivia posted the side-by-side picture above before spitting up her tips.
Olivia’s first tip is: Exercise! If you’re like me and are about to Google the definition of “exercise,” because you forgot what it is, “exercise” is moving your body beyond the usual daily activities like walking, fapping and using your leg to bring the remote on the coffee table closer. Exercise was invented by Satan.
I lost 12 pounds this past year while training for Xmen. I kept it off by coming up w/an hour workout I do a few times a week. The weight loss leaned out my cheeks and jawline. Working out is also great for your skin because it increases blood flow to your face which helps rejuvenate.
Olivia’s second tip is: Give your eyebrow situation a makeover! Take them from “hot Disney villainess modeled after Joan Crawford” to “meh.”
Reshaped my brows. I do my own brows and always thought they were supposed to have a high arch. Then a facialist pointed out to me that I was shaping my brows into a frown. So I let the top of my brows grow in (which is never fun because it looks spotty for a few weeks) and then I plucked the bottom. That gave my brows a more horizontal angle and instantly brightened my eyes.
Olivia’s third tip is: Use Proactiv to burn them off! Or get paid to say you use Proactiv on Twitter and use that money to laser your freckles off.
Got rid of sunspots. I love my freckles. But over the past couple of years I’ve seen more come up and merge with other freckles to make large dark spots. Dark spots prevent your skin from reflecting light and gives you a dull complexion. So for the past year I’ve been diligently using @Proactiv Mark Fading Pads. I wipe my face with one every night and now my face has a more even tone and the large spots aren’t as noticeable.
Olivia’s last tip is: Channing Tatum’s Japanese cousin!
I’ve talked about this before and I still stand by it: Japanese potatoes that are high in Hyaluronic Acid help keep wrinkles away. Look up this video: “Connie Chung Yuzihara” to learn all about it. There are Hyaluronic Acid pills and vitamins but I think that the best way to get it in your system is by eating them in foods that naturally have them.
Olivia isn’t done with her beauty renovation yet.
I’m still looking into what gets rid of the lines that develop around your neck. I think it has to do with tension and acupuncture might be the answer. When I find out more, I’ll let you know.
Olivia should hook up with Goopy Paltrow, because she’ll tell you that the best way to keep lines from developing on your neck is to stretch it as you raise your nose up at the poor peons beneath you. If that doesn’t work, just use your at-home pussy steamer (because everyone should have one) to get the neck wrinkles out. As for Japanese potatoes, the Albertson’s I buy my food from definitely doesn’t have those. So I guess I have to settle for french fries dipped in Yum Yum sauce. That’ll do the trick I’m sure.
Here’s pictures of Olivia at a Vanity Fair and Fiat event in West Hollywood last night. Since we’re on the subject of comparing, I also threw in pictures of her from ten years ago.