“Gee, your hair smells terrific!” – that dude

“Gee, that’s not my hair you’re smelling… hehehehe...” – that chick with luscious Cocker Spaniel hair, who obviously just farted and is really happy about it

Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific was a line of shampoo and conditioners from the 70s and 80s that supposedly smelled so terrific that as soon as the people around you got a nostril full of the terrific scent wafting off of your hair, they’d say, “Gee, your hair smells terrific!” It was put out by Jergens and was apparently highly popular until for some reason, it went away and everyone’s hair no longer smelled terrific.

I feel like I missed out on something important, because I never got to say, “Gee, your hair smells terrific,” since I don’t know what it smells like. So I went on a massive hunt, that took me all of 5 seconds thanks to Google, to find out what exactly did GYHST smell like. I expected to read that it smelled like cheeseburgers, or churros, or Suave strawberry-scented shampoo, or money, or Angelyne’s farts, because those are all things that smell terrific! I came across one site that described the scent like this:

I can still vividly remember the commercial for Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific, and the fragrant floral and spicy smell would last all day and night after washing and drying my hair

“Floral and spicy“? Definitely like Angelyne’s farts. It’s kind of surprising that Jergens hasn’t rebooted GYHST for the millennials and changed the name to “YAAASSSS, Kween, Your Hair Cape Smells Cray! I’m Dead!”

Here’s a commercial from the olden days for GYHST:

In many hair commercials of yore, everyone’s hair looks so straight, shiny and full and it makes me want to say, “Gee, your hair looks like a polyester wig and I want that!”

Justin Bieber has been a famous person for a long time. Sadly, there’s one part about being a famous singer that Justin doesn’t like. Justin doesn’t like fans. He doesn’t like taking pictures with them at concerts or in public. He doesn’t like when they give him gifts. He doesn’t like how they act on Twitter. He doesn’t like it when they try to get his attention at the club. And on Saturday, he gave us a quick reminder about how he feels about them.

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Phoebe Price (forever and ever ageless)
Google (18)
Sam Lerner (24)
Thomas Mann (25)
Grace Helbig (31)
Avril Lavigne (32)
Anna Camp (34)
Lil Wayne (34)
Jason Wu (34)
Brad Arnold (38)
Carrie Brownstein (42)
Trick Daddy (43)
Gwyneth Paltrow (44)
Amanda Detmer (45)
Tamara Taylor (46)
Sofia Milos (47)
Patrick Muldoon (48)
Debi Derryberry (49)
Alexis Stewart (51)
Stephan Jenkins (52)
Marc Maron (53)
Andy Lau (55)
Shaun Cassidy (58)
Gail Edwards (64)
Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa (66)
A Martinez (66)
Liz Torres (69)
Meat Loaf (69)
Wilford Brimley (82)

Pic: Wenn.com

You know how you can tell a couple is ride-or-die for each other? When they’re two French people who check the “haters” in separate Instagram posts. In Français! Oscar-winning actress, Marion Cotillard, had the bad luck (“Quelle est cette chose que vous appelez mauvais?” – Paramount executives) to have filmed Allied with stoner-dad-under-siege Brad Pitt immediately preceding his wife Angelina Jolie filing for “eff this, I’m out.” She’s since been the target of rumors that her chatte (like Michael, I love Google Translate) was the reason for their split. Marion has already Instagrammed a statement denying it and wishing the “haters” a swift recovery from their fever of stupidity. And now her partner of nine years, actor/director Guillaume Canet, has addressed the “haters” himself on behalf of his maman bébé. He even wrote “shit” in French. Swoon!

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Crossfire! 

Here I was thinking that Crossfire was a gift that was given to us in the golden era of greatness, the 80s, but after researching for this post for hours (read: I Googled for 30 seconds), I learned that Milton Bradley created it in 1971. There was really nothing much to Crossfire. It was like the three-way baby of hockey, pool and paintball. Your goal was to push one of two pucks into your enemy’s goal and you did it by shooting little metal balls. If your parents refused to buy Crossfire for you, you could’ve easily made your own busted-down DIY version using Dixie cups duct-taped down to the table (the goals), charms from a charm bracelet (the pucks) and Pic N’ Save water guns.

I only played Crossfire a couple of times and honestly, I was never really into it, because it lacked THEATER and DRAMA. It was no Fireball Island. But while the game itself was boring to me, the commercial was a thrilling spectacle of excitement!

Maybe that’s why a game of Crossfire was boring to me. Maybe I needed to play it in a smoky battle dome (aka a bathroom full of shower steam) as lightning strikes (aka a friend turning the lights on and off real fast) and fire glazes all around us (aka a couple of Yankee Candles lit). I should do that this weekend while playing the busted-down DIY version of Crossfire. But wait, to do that, I’m going to need some friends first. You can rent those from Craigslist, right?

Pic: BoardGameGeek 

When Kid Cudi called out Kanye West and Drake last week on Twitter for maybe passing their lyric-writing duties off on other people, I prepared for a months-long tornado powered by Kanye’s anger. After all, if he and Taylor Swift were willing to start a war over something as petty as song lyrics, who knew what mess would be born from alleging that those lyrics came from someone else’s brain? Both Kanye and Drake scratched back at Kid Cudi a bit, but it appears that’s about as far as their fight is going to go, at least for Kanye.

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