Amanda Seyfried And Her Soon-To-Be Baby Father Eloped
Amanda Seyfried is going to give birth to another human soon, so I guess she and her man, Thomas Sadoski, figured that they should get the whole “married” thing out of the way before they’re up to their eyeballs in newborn slobber, baby diarrhea, nanny applications and pulled-out hair from listening to those selfish balls of neediness whine over stupid shit like being hungry. Thomas, who is also an actor, was on The Late Late Show last night to promote something I’m too lazy to Google and he declared that he is now Mr. Karen from Mean Girls.
Charlie Hunnam Isn’t A Fan Of Filming Sex Scenes
Charlie Hunnam has gotten his ass out many (many) times on Sons of Anarchy and pretended to have sex on Queer as Folk. If you Google “Charlie Hunnam sex scene“, plenty of stuff comes up. I know, I totally just walked into a boner joke there. Since Charlie has so many sex scenes on his resume, you’d think that was a sign that he really enjoys doing them. Nope.
Hot Slut Of The Day!
IHOP’s elusive boysenberry syrup!
Why is anybody in America at work today? It is National Pancake Day AND National Cereal Day. Along with bacon, booze and anything fried, pancake and cereal are part of America’s 5 basic food groups (Don’t Google, it’s true!). So everyone should be spending our day worshiping pancakes and cereal by stuffing our mouths with cereal-stuffed pancake taquitos, pancake and cereal sandwiches, etc.. And when our jaws get tired, we should roll up a pancake and use it as a straw to snort crushed cereal, and when our noses get raw, we should mainline pancake batter. And yes, I’m typing this while one of my veins is attached to an IV drip full of uncooked Bisquick.
To celebrate National Pancake Day, today’s HSOTD is the elusive chanteuse of IHOP syrups: boysenberry!
Open Post: Hosted By The New “DuckTales”
Before production began on the new DuckTales, it looks like Huey, Dewey and Louie decided that they needed to update their look for the now, so they went to the plastic surgeon’s office and got the AngryBirds special. That’s why their heads are all squared and shit. They’re going to regret that trendy look, so expect to see them on an upcoming episode of Botched. And Disney really stabbed my childhood in the heart by sticking that doll of the original Webby to the wall in the corner.
Night Crumbs
Moonlight’s Trevante Rhodes stripped down to his chonies for an ad for Calvin Klein Underwear and you probably don’t know whether to fap, or do crunches, or both at the same time – Towleroad
Casey Affleck thinks Ben Affleck has been under-appreciated…. There’s not enough bitch, pleases in the world – Lainey Gossip
The newest Kong: Skull Island trailer is out and I’m just here for John Goodman and the battle between Khlozilla and Courtney Stodden – The Superficial
Alleged sexual predator Casey Affleck dragged alleged sexual predator Donald Trump – Celebitchy
Kim Zolciak’s daughter turned 20 and I’m guessing that Kim gave her the gift of either lipo or a facelift. What am I saying? She probably got both of those on her 12th birthday! – Reality Tea
Nothing like a casual coochie slip on the Oscars red carpet – Drunken Stepfather
If Emily RideAJetSki is trying to do an impersonation of a hollow mannequin, she nailed it! – Hollywood Tuna
The good thing about Kate Beckinsale’s dress, is that she can easily dust a table with her chichis if it needs it – Popoholic
Josh Hartnett is going to be a dad again – Popsugar
Gossip Girl (aka Dan Humphrey) got married – Just Jared
Wonder Woman is on the cover of Empire – IDLYITW
Bob Harper had a major heart attack while working out. See! Exercise is dangerous and can kill! – NewNowNext
Who hasn’t gotten arrested after sleep-driving into a pole and then running from the cops while not wearing pants and in a booze and Ambien-induced haze? – Starcasm
Pic: Calvin Klein
Hot Slut Of The Day!
Alba Nydia Díaz, actress of stage and screen, producer, television host and legend who interviewed herself on the Puerto Rican morning show Juntos en la Mañana!
Kanye West, please pull up a chair in the front row and bring up the Notes app on your phone, because you need to take note and learn how to perfectly mix narcissism and ART! WAPA TV’s Juntos en la Mañana recently celebrated its first anniversary of being on air, and one of the show’s hosts, Alba Nydia Díaz, graciously gave the viewers the priceless gift of her interviewing herself in her own home. How very Celine Dion of her! It was like a bizarro world Stuart Smalley bit. Mariah Carey is slapping herself for not coming up with this.