Solange doesn’t get out that much, so when Daddy Knowles accidentally leaves the basement door open, you know this bitch is going to come out with a BANG! Basement Baby did just that at San Francisco’s Gay Pride Parade yesterday. It looks like BB went to a lot of trouble of making this fuckery suit using Beyonce’s old biker shorts. To save her some time, Solange should’ve called up Clay Gayken and asked him to wet fart on her. The result would’ve been the same.

And I’m not sure if the crowd really appreciated Basement Baby’s deli counter crotch right in front of them. Bitch, put some Swiss, mustard, mayo and two pieces of Rye on that meatiness.

I’m telling you. Basement Baby goes wild when gets a hit of fresh air.

High-Fart: Lady CaCa once again proves that she deserves an honorary doctorate in “How To Look Like An Asshole-omics” (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Leighton Feetsters new music video – Just Jared

Liza Minnelli and her stunning pre-op eyebrows march in Paris’ Gay Pride parade – Towleroad

Crack rock with you – Hollywood Tuna

That dress makes Jessica Simpson look like she should join her boyfriend’s team as their new linebacker – Popsugar

The Transformers Cliff Notes, because you should spend your money on more important things like donuts…and dildos – Cityrag

Isabel Lucas is purdy – Egotastic!

What years upon years of cokey use can do to your brain – Defamer

You know Solange made Beyonce’s shoes during craft hour in the basement – Lainey Gossip

If Barney and Daisy Buchanan had an Ecstasy baby – Hollywood Rag

This is Craig Stevens (on left) proudly showing off his new creation, Lego Wino (on right), at a shopping mall in South London. Craig says it took him only six days to construct Lego Wino using 12,500 pieces. It normally takes Craig around 2 weeks to do the titty area alone, but he must have had a Wino signature cocktail (tequila, crystal meth, freon, melted ice pops and hairspray) so that he could stay up for six days straight.

Um. Craig looks more like Wino than Lego Wino does. I mean, Lego Wino isn’t skinnier than a roach leg and its coating isn’t falling off.

And why do I think it only took him 4 days to complete, but he spent the other 2 days humping on Lego Wino and adding “white spots” to her nose to make it look more realistic. The places that Lego hive has been…… My no-no just fainted.

This weekend, The News of the World came out with an ASTONISHING and SHOCKING (their words) interview with Debbie Rowe where she revealed that Michael Jackson was not the biological father of his kids and that she didn’t want custody. Well, that interview will soon be available in the fiction section of a Barnes & Nobles, because it was made of lies. That’s what Debbie’s lawyer is screaming anyway. He told Radar Online, “The interview did not occur. The article is a complete fabrication.” Or maybe The News of the World’s check bounced?

So just forget you read that entire interview! Glamour yourself so that the pristine and innocent image you have of Debbie Rowe can remain intact. Bubbles probably called NOTW all the way from Florida and pretended to be her ass. He never liked her.

In related news, Michael Jackson’s mother Katherine has just been given temporary guardianship of his three children. She filed papers in L.A. this morning saying she is their paternal memaw and that they are living with her right now. Katharine is also asking for guardianship over the kids’ estates.

There will be a petition hearing on August 3rd. August 3rd will also be the date that Joe Jackson debuts his new pop supergroup THE JACKSON 3 featuring Blanket, Paris and Prince Michael. You know it’s true.

The coroner in Tampa, FL held a press conference today where he said that Billy Mays most likely died from a pulmonary embolism. He went on to say that “Billy Mays had an enlarged heart, a thickening of the wall of the ventricle which takes blood to the heart.” An official cause of death won’t be announced for a few more weeks when all the test results come in.

The day before his death, Billy was a passenger on a US Airways flight that had a bad landing which caused some stuff to fall on his head. Right after news of Billy’s death punched us all in the soul, the FAA issued a statement to TMZ saying that he wasn’t wearing a seat belt at the time. They later took back the statement by saying they never said it. Translation: We know we weren’t right for saying that shit in the first place.

I guess it’s not much of a surprise seeing as though Billy shouted more than my abuelita during a children’s birthday party. You know what they say, “Don’t shout so much or you may…” You know. Sads. Hopefully, Billy is up there in heaven YELLING at everyone!!!!!

Oh, how I wish this was a promo shot for Crypt Karl’s new pop group. Unfortunately, it’s not. Karl somehow found himself in between a trio of sloppy camel toes at the premiere of Totally Spies in Paris last night.

If Karl’s organs still worked, he probably would have busted an artery over having to pose with these three BBCT (big beautiful camel toes). Now, it’s not the giant toes that bother Karl, it’s the fact that they are so sloppy and fat! After these pictures were taken, Karl probably yelled at the puss bulges and told them to “lose ze weight.” The poor fatty toes probably ran to the nearest toilet to barf, because Karl gave them such a complex. They won’t eat sausage for weeks! Leave it to Karl to make a vagina bulimic and anorexic. Pussyrexic!