Rob Kartrashian Is Probably Humping On Blac Chyna

/ January 25, 2016

When we last heard from Pimp Mama Kris’ fourth tier whore, Rob Kardashian, he had been hospitalized with diabetes and was apparently saying “fuck it” to diet and exercise. But well, it looks like Rob is now burning some calories and getting some exercise by holding up his FUPA as he wet humps on Blac Chyna from the back.

TMZ says that during the past few days, Rob has been spending a whole lot of time with the baby mother of his sister’s gross boyfriend. Blac Chyna used to live next to Pimp Mama Kris’ lair, but she and Rob never sucked on each other’s genitals back then. They only started fucking recently and if you’re wondering what brought these two together, just look at Twitter’s top trending topics to get your answer. (SPOILER ALERT: Blac Chyna is trending on Twatter.) Blac Chyna wanted everyone to know that Future is her past and Rob is now licking Splenda-sweetened lube off of her camel toe, so she queefed up this picture on Instagram this morning:

The beginning ☘

A photo posted by www.Lashedbar.co (@blacchyna) on

TMZ conducted an extremely thorough tattoo investigation and matched that tattoo with the tattoo on Rob’s arm.

Since that picture of Blac Chyna cuddling up to her rival’s brother went up on Instagram, Kylie Jenner tagged Rob’s name in a picture of a devil and Khloe Kartrashian tweeted about how you don’t go against the family. Khlozilla later klaimed she wasn’t talking about Rob but was talking about some other family member who pulled out of her shit puddle of a talk show at the last minute. So basically, Rob has moved from the bottom of the fame whore chain to somewhere in the middle since he’s given PMK a storyline she can milk dry. “Sources” have already told E! that the Kartrashians think that Blac Chyna is a succubus skank who is using a vulnerable Rob to get back at Kylie.

Oh please, Blac Chyna and Rob Kartrashian’s union is obviously built on true love and true love only. These dirt star-crossed lovers are the  Romeo & Juliet of our time. Although, I’m sure this will end with the Kartrashians unfollowing Rob on Twitter and that’s like much, much more tragic than a double suicide.

And here’s old pictures of the one-time sock mogul’s arm tattoos:

Pics: Wenn.com

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Andie MacDowell Was Forced To Fly In “Tourist” Class And She Lived To Tell The Tale!

/ January 25, 2016

The next time you find yourself struggling through some serious shit and you’re not sure how you’re going to get through it, just close your eyes and think of Andie MacDowell’s tourist class struggles. If Andie can get through that, all of us can get through anything!

Twitter is really, really good place for two things: It’s a good place for people to spit at airlines for screwing up their trip. And it’s also a good place for people to exercise their RAGE muscle by getting mad over some shit a famou-ish type tweets out. Both of those things happened on Friday when noted movie ruiner Andie MacDowell complained to American Airlines on Twitter after they bumped her from first class to coach on a 1-hour flight from Charlotte, NC to Myrtle Beach, SC. Andie paid for a first class seat and she pre-booked a space for her dog friend, but the AA employee let her know that she couldn’t sit in 1A because there was nowhere to put her dog. The AA employee wouldn’t let Andie switch seats with another richie in first class. Andie tweeted that above tweet and immediately turned on people’s RAGE switch by calling coach “tourist” class.

When people stamped the “certified Goopy” label on Andie’s forehead, she said that she calls it tourist class because it sounds more glamorous and she’s only mad since she didn’t get what she paid for:

Not how I feel, I’m not superior at all just wish I hadn’t payed for first very expense. Lord honey hate on me if it pleases you, I paid for a flight to volunteer for literacy & didn’t get what I paid for.

I think tourist sounds more glamorous than coach. I had no idea other felt it sounded less because I fly tourist often.

Lessons learned, never complain on Twitter & don’t pay for first class on American Airlines. Only express gratitude…can we move on now.

Andie has a right to be pissed since she dropped a load of her Hallmark Hall of Fame movie money on a first class seat and didn’t get it, but I’m laughing at her calling coach “tourist” class. I’ve never heard that before and so I looked it up. Wikipedia tells me that in the olden times, “third class” was called “tourist class” on ships. That still makes her a certified Goopy, because you know Goopy Paltrow calls coach “steerage.” And if I was Andie, I would’ve stayed in first class with Rose’s mom and Molly Brown and made my dog sit in “tourist” with Jack Dawson.

Pics: Wenn.com, @AndieMacDowell3

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

/ January 25, 2016

Mandy Lamrini, the German jewel who truly knows that the higher the eyebrows, the closer to GOD!

When I read this inspirational story at Buzzfeed yesterday, both the sads and happiness filled my heart. The tale of the tattooed brows made me sad because it’s always depressing when I’m reminded that there’s ignorant messes out there who don’t fully appreciate a pair of delicately arched eye valances. But Mandy’s story also made me happy, because it’s inspiring knowing that she’s not going to let some beauty haters drag her stunning eyebrow situation down.

Mandy is a German goddess who had a pair of angry Vulcan brows permanently tattooed onto her face. Mandy was graciousness to share the finished product on Facebook. You would think that the public would throw a million thanks at Mandy for making this ugly world a little more beautiful with those perfect brows, but they didn’t. Many basic-browed bitches shamed Mandy and turned her tattooed brows of elegance into a meme. But Mandy refused to let the jealous haters stop her tattooed brows from being great. Mandy let them know that they can’t drag her down since her graceful bird wing brows are taking her up, up and away! via Buzzfeed

And Lamrini? She remains quite relaxed, and told her haters that she loves her new look. “These eyebrows suit me better,” she said in a video that she posted a day later. She also stressed that the cosmetic studio that designed her eyebrows did so according to her ideas. Lamrini told BuzzFeed Germany that she couldn’t believe her pictures drew so much attention, but that the negativity doesn’t bother her in the slightest.

When asked why she posted the pictures at all, she said “because I can.”

“I have to walk around with these eyebrows, not you,” she said on Facebook to her haters. “You’re actually fans, even if you don’t want to admit it to yourselves.”

Mandy is right. Mandy’s tattooed brows look like the profile shot of two flamingos and her feathered eyelashes look like two black swans in heat, so people are just giving her shit, because they wish their eye area looked like the inside of an aviary. Behold, more of Mandy’s inspirational brows!

Pics: Facebook

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Birthday Sluts

/ January 25, 2016

Alicia Keys (35)
Calum Hood (20)
Michael Trevino (31)
Charlie Bewley (35)
Michelle McCool (36)
Christine Lakin (37)
Princess Charlene of Monaco (38)
Mia Kirshner (41)
Dat Phan (41)
China Kantner (45)
Ana Ortiz (45)
Marcus Samuelsson (45)
Dinah Manoff (58)
Jenifer Lewis (59)
The Honky Tonk Man (63)
Leiji Matsumoto (78)

Pic: @aliciakeys

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Open Post: Hosted By A Snowy Steven Tyler Crashing A Live CNN Broadcast

/ January 24, 2016

In the event you’re one of the thousands of people who are currently living My Snow-Called Life (copyright: Ken Jennings) and want some extra heat, here’s something that should warm you up. Steven Tyler was stranded New York City after an appearance on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert, so he decided to kill some time yesterday by going for a stroll in the snow with his daughter, Mia. Since the only people out in the snow are either pandas or reporters telling you to stay inside, Steven and Mia accidentally wandered into a live blizzard broadcast by CNN. That’s when Steven got all kinds of cute. Maybe it’s because he was all bundled up like a toddler. Regardless, you’re going to want to grab an absorbent towel, because Steven Tyler waving to his grandson Milo at the 0:33 mark will melt all the icicles off your heart.

The only thing I can’t figure out is why Steven Tyler was walking through the snow. You’d think at least one of Steven’s dogs would have offered to strap on a harness and pull him around in a sled. Wait, what am I saying? Those dogs are rich; the only thing they’re doing is sipping a hot mug of Alpo by the fire.

Pic: Steven Tyler

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