Emily Blunt sweetly putting her head against John Krasinski’s chest tells me that they’re probably same side sitters. The only good reason to sit on the same side during a dinner for 2 at a restaurant is to easily give your piece a hand job. That is it! But anyway….

Emily Blunt and John Krasinski bumped their genitals together and made another fetus, which is a little surprising since her vagina apparently gave a thumbs down clit down over the muscles he put on his body for that 13 Hours mess of a movie. John said that Emily likes his “dad bod” better. But Emily somehow managed to keep down the barfs while humping on John’s muscled-up body and now she’s knocked up. Emily’s rep confirmed the news to UsWeekly and if they didn’t, we’d still know she was pregnant since she wore an oversize coat in NYC in January and that is obviously a giveaway that you’re growing a baby!

Another baby for Blunt! Emily Blunt is pregnant and expecting her second child with her husband, John Krasinski, her rep confirms exclusively to Us Weekly.

Blunt, 32, is currently filming The Girl on the Train, which was adapted from Paula Hawkins’ bestselling novel of the same name. She was photographed wearing an oversized coat on set in NYC on January 20.

Emily and John have an almost 2-year-old daughter named Hazel. Emily and John totally messed up when naming their first child, so let’s hope they do the right thing this time around by giving their second child her last name and the first name “Smokah.” I’d also be cool with the first name of “Passda.” You have ONE job, you two!

Here’s Emily at the National Board of Review a few weeks ago:

Pics: Wenn.com

I really won’t believe it until AbeVigoda.com changes their status… (UPDATE: They just did.)

Abe Vigoda’s daughter Carol Vigoda Fuchs (Side note: I love her name) sadly tells the Associated Press that her father died peacefully in his sleep at her home in Woodland Park, New Jersey this morning. He was 94 and was going to turn 95 next month. Carol said that Abe Vigoda died of old age and he was never ever sick. Some media sites had to throw up a disclaimer that the news isn’t a hoax, because as everyone knows, Abe died many times in hoaxes. He was the best sport about it and was in on the gag. He probably said, “I’m not dead yet, bitches,” every time he entered a room.

Abe’s acting career started in the 1960s in theater and his big break came when Francis Ford Coppola cast him as seasoned mobster Salvatore Tessio in The Godfather. Abe didn’t have an agent at the time so he got the role through an open call. He got even more famous from playing Detective Fish on Barney Miller for several seasons and that led to his own spin-off Fish, which didn’t last very long. Us children of the 80s probably best know Abe Vigoda from Look Who’s Talking? Abe continued to work up until 2010 when he did a Snickers Super Bowl commercial with fellow national treasure Betty White.

Abe is survived by his daughter, his grandchildren and his great-grandson.

Rest in peace, Abe Vigoda, you are now in heaven where the angels probably said, “Huh, you were supposed to be eternal,” as soon as you walked through the gates.

Pic: Wenn.com

This isn’t the feud any of us saw coming, but it’s the feud we needed.

Rapper B.o.B (government name: Bobby Ray Simmons, Jr.) dropped a whole lot of TRUTH onto the eyeballs of his millions of Twitter followers over the weekend when he went on and on and on and on and on about how the Earth is flat and we’ve all been lied to. B.o.B’s flat Earth sermon got so much attention that Harvard-educated astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson stepped in, sat B.o.B down at a desk in the front of the classroom and tried to burst a trick’s flat bubble by telling him that the planet is round. But B.o.B isn’t going to listen to some professional planet studier who has spent years studying and teaching this sort of thing. B.o.B knows that Neil deGrasse Tyson is being paid by the government to push the round Earth lie. B.o.B sees you, NDT!

I swear, B.o.B arguing with an astrophysicist about the planet being flat is like me arguing with David Foster Wallace about gramur. speling and, sentuns strucksher.

B.o.B really gave it to NDT by releasing a diss track called “Flatline,” which also describes the current state of his career, which is why he has to do shit like this to promote himself. The diss track is below. I’m sure all high school science teachers will replace their textbooks with it:

If you didn’t listen to that truth bomb, here’s a piece of the lyrics:

I see only good things on the horizon
That’s probably why the horizon is always rising
Indoctrinated in a cult called science
And graduated to a club full of liars
Heliocentrism, you were the sixth victim
Fuck you and your team, you could sit on the bench with ’em
They nervous, but before you try to curve it
Do your research on David Irving
Stalin was way worse than Hitler
That’s why the POTUS gotta wear a kippah
I’m a man first ‘fore an artist
Get a lawyer, look up Doctor Richard Sauder

So B.o.B is a flat Earth truther and a Holocaust denier. B.o.B is probably right about those cloning centers, because it’s obvious that his brain and Tila Tequila’s brain came from the same one.

Pic: Splash

Massage parlor opening day … featuring Minnie Mouth and Donald Fuck. – Miss Julia

Upvote winner:

Want to see my Steamboat Willie? – false_azure

Pic: Tosh.0

Ludivine, the dog who ran a half-marathon without even trying and won a medal.

When some people decide to do a marathon, they train for a looooong time and they suffer through sore body parts, busted toe nails, bloody nips and worn out fingers from posting Facebook post after Facebook post about their marathon woes (that goes out to my marathon-running FB friends who go on marathon FB sprees about their training and shit ). Ludivine, a two-and-a-half-year-old bloodhound, is looking at those marathon runners like, “Weak bitches!” Because on Saturday, Ludivine casually ran a 13.1 mile half marathon in her town of Elkmont, Alabama and she came in 7th.

Ludivine’s human, April Hamlin, tells Runner’s World that her pooch’s journey to becoming a marathon winner started on Saturday morning. When April let Ludivine out to piss, she snuck out of the backyard and strolled on over to the downtown area where the marathon was about to start. Ludivine sneaks out and goes to downtown from time to time, so the people of Elkmont know her. Ludivine hung out with the runners before the marathon and when it started, she joined in. One runner, who came in 4th, said that Ludivine didn’t run the marathon straight. She ran off the course to mingle with other animals, sniff at roadkill and play in streams. She kept on running, though, and finished in 7th. She was just behind the 6th place winner who came in at 1:32. Ludivine was given a 7th place medal and she posed for pictures afterward. Not pictured: The 8th place finisher who is throwing “I need to see her damn registration papers!” looks at Ludivine.

April says she was surprised that Ludivine didn’t quit because that dog is lazy, “She’s laid back and friendly, so I can’t believe she ran the whole half marathon because she’s actually really lazy.”

Well, that lazy is now a marathon winner. Next stop, Rio 2016! Go, Ludivine!

Pics: Elkmont Half Marathon Facebook (For Kelly, Manja, Spaulding and Jo)

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