Well, this will be sad news for fans of relationships between gorgeous-boobed humans and singers with an X-Men-like ability to remove mommy panties with their voice. E! News says that Kat Dennings and Josh Groban have broken up after almost two years. A source – who may or may not have been Sophie with a couple extra minutes on a prepaid Polish calling card – tells E! that the breakup was “mutual.”

“They are still friends and care about each other, but it’s not the right time for them now as a couple.”

On a happier note, this means Josh Groban is one step closer to reconnecting with his true soulmate: Sweet Dee.

Neither Josh nor Kat have confirmed they recently tossed their love in a wood chipper. Although the last picture of Josh Groban on Kat Denning’s Instagram page is from way back in February, so make of that what you will. But otherwise, nothing else. Where’s the screen-grab of a break-up announcement starting with the words “It is with a heavy heart…” written on an iPhone in the Notes app and posted to Instagram? Did Kat and Josh forget that they’re famous people? Announcing your break up though a “source” is so 2015. I guess neither of them got the famous people memo that 2016 is the year of releasing your very important news with a screen grab from the Notes app.

Pic: Splash

4 out of 5 Police officers agree, this car needs to be searched. – magusxxx

Upvote winners (it’s a tie!):

The Flossed and the Furious. – FluffKitteh

Pic: Reddit

Del Monte Bubble Gum Pudding!

Bubble gum pudding sounds like something that oozed out of the pores of the 1980s, but it didn’t go on supermarket shelves until 1991. Del Monte probably figured that there were a lot of people who were still craving food fuckery from the 1980s, so they created a pudding that looks like it was barfed up by Bazooka Joe. Del Monte said in a press release back in 1991 that studies showed that the taste buds of children couldn’t get enough of bubble gum flavor. Del Monte got on that trend by busting out Bubble Gum pudding. It didn’t last very long, because surprisingly there weren’t a lot of people out there who chewed gum and thought to themselves, “This gum would be so much better if it was the consistency of extra thick Pepto-Bismol.”

Every time Baskin-Robbins is out of pink bubble gum ice cream, I do the emotional slide against an invisible wall while screaming, “NOOOOO,” so Del Monte’s Bubble Gum pudding is probably something I would’ve loved. But that “Chew The Right Thing” tagline doesn’t exactly sell that shit. The only time I’ve really chewed pudding is when my mom tried to make a healthy, sugar-less version and it came out about as smooth and creamy as half-dried brown glue.

Pic: RetroNewsNow

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Pic: Instagram

People can never remember to hold their phones horizontally. In his defense, he was probably distracted by the exceptionally enraged woman trying to chest bump him into the next dimension. According to the description on this YouTube vid, the guy was trying to get a refund at this hair salon in Escondido, CA because he felt that his mop wasn’t trimmed correctly. A gentlewoman on the scene took offense to something about the guy, or the way he asked for his refund, or the fact that he was holding his phone vertically. She proceeds to let him know in a shrill, Roseanne-esque shriek that she is also “a customer” and that “you have offended me.” All hell breaks loose and, forgetting that she is being recorded, she begins to accuse him of hitting her while…hitting him? It’s a little fuzzy. She then begins to emit blood-curdling screams and complaining dramatically about her ribs. I’m sure the other customers at this point were like “yeah, I think I’ll skip the shampoo, today, ok?” and leaving with half-finished blowouts.

What’s not fuzzy, besides her anger, is that Gay Pride poncho she is sporting at video’s end. I’m not sure she’s the exact sort of person we need repping our community but she’s definitely committed to her actions.

Check out “Insane Woman Goes Crazy On Guy Who Just Wants A Refund” below.

https://youtu.be/POk-uOQSJVk

Anti-thinking advocate Kanye West is impatient for Apple to hurry up and buy his pal Jay-Z’s music streaming service Tidal. Apple and Beyonce’s husband have reportedly been going back and forth about the potential purchase since last month, according to the Wall Street Journal. Kummy Kakes’ koat karrier feels that by taking their time to think about it (he’s not big on thought process), Apple is withholding music from “the kids.” He might also secretly feel that Tidal is a sinking ship and Apple might be the life raft in which he can join Kathy Bates and Rose’s stuck-up mom to escape watery business death.

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