Kanye West Is Demanding That Apple Buy Tidal

July 31, 2016 / Posted by:

Anti-thinking advocate Kanye West is impatient for Apple to hurry up and buy his pal Jay-Z’s music streaming service Tidal. Apple and Beyonce’s husband have reportedly been going back and forth about the potential purchase since last month, according to the Wall Street Journal. Kummy Kakes’ koat karrier feels that by taking their time to think about it (he’s not big on thought process), Apple is withholding music from “the kids.” He might also secretly feel that Tidal is a sinking ship and Apple might be the life raft in which he can join Kathy Bates and Rose’s stuck-up mom to escape watery business death.

As reported by Vulture, Yeezus began his latest Twitter complaint barrage yesterday by noting that Apple’s hesitancy has resulted in a “Tidal Apple beef” that is “fucking up the music game.” As long as I can I still find Doctor Jones” by Aqua, Jellyhead” by Crush, and “Tonight Is What It Means To Be Young” off the Streets of Fire soundtrack on iTunes, I personally feel that the music game is unfucked. He also asked Apple’s current boss Tim Cook to put aside some time to Skype with Yeezy and other important people so they can come up with an action plan, unpack their concerns, find out where the disconnect is, touch base, and do other business activities you do together.

He then mentioned dicks and his concerns about the passage of time and the inevitability of death. For a guy who hates to think, he does a lot of it!

In closing, Kanye admonished Apple for thinking they’re as good as they were when the deceased Steve Jobs was head-turtleneck-in-charge.

Bossy! Does Jay owe him money or something? You knew this wasn’t going to go well after that bizarre announcement ceremony when all the multi-millionaires stood around awkwardly and wondered what Deadmau5 looked like under his robo-Mickey headcomputer.

Check out Kanye West’s unusual (for him) myriad of facial emotions while announcing his upcoming Saint Pablo tour in NYC yesterday in the gallery below.

Pics: Splash

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