Crossfire! 

Here I was thinking that Crossfire was a gift that was given to us in the golden era of greatness, the 80s, but after researching for this post for hours (read: I Googled for 30 seconds), I learned that Milton Bradley created it in 1971. There was really nothing much to Crossfire. It was like the three-way baby of hockey, pool and paintball. Your goal was to push one of two pucks into your enemy’s goal and you did it by shooting little metal balls. If your parents refused to buy Crossfire for you, you could’ve easily made your own busted-down DIY version using Dixie cups duct-taped down to the table (the goals), charms from a charm bracelet (the pucks) and Pic N’ Save water guns.

I only played Crossfire a couple of times and honestly, I was never really into it, because it lacked THEATER and DRAMA. It was no Fireball Island. But while the game itself was boring to me, the commercial was a thrilling spectacle of excitement!

Maybe that’s why a game of Crossfire was boring to me. Maybe I needed to play it in a smoky battle dome (aka a bathroom full of shower steam) as lightning strikes (aka a friend turning the lights on and off real fast) and fire glazes all around us (aka a couple of Yankee Candles lit). I should do that this weekend while playing the busted-down DIY version of Crossfire. But wait, to do that, I’m going to need some friends first. You can rent those from Craigslist, right?

Pic: BoardGameGeek 

Julio Iglesias (73)
Skylar Astin (29)
Trinidad Jame$ (29)
Anneliese van der Pol (32)
Natalie Horler of Cascada (35)
Anthony Mackie (38)
Liberty Ross (38)
Kip Pardue (41)
Layzie Bone (42)
Sarah Bettens of K’s Choice (44)
Jermaine Dupri (44)
Ani DiFranco (46)
Rosalind Chao (49)
LisaRaye (50)
Chi McBride (55)
Jason Alexander (57)
George C. Wolfe (62)
Bruce Springsteen (67)
Mary Kay Place (69)
Paul Petersen (71)
Tom Lester (78)

Pic: Pinterest

Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen were at some event last night where they proved that their love is still strong. Can’t you tell by the twinkle in their eyes? Although the twinkle in Tom’s eye is either from seeing something shiny and purdy in the distance or from making a pootie in his undies – Lainey Gossip 

I am pretty sure that one of the In Living Color Fly Girls wore the exact same outfit that Jessica Simpson is wearing – Drunken Stepfather

Kim Zolciak just naturally looks Photoshopped and filtered to hell and back, thankyouverymuch! – Reality Tea 

The Weeknd cut his dreads – Celebitchy

It looks like the internet is stoned again – The Superficial

That dress is doing strange things to Penelope Cruz’s chichis area – Popoholic

You know, now that a trick on Twitter mentions it, Melissa McCarthy sort of is the white Madea – Towleroad

Um, excuse you, but In-N-Out already has a vegetarian sandwich, it’s called the Grilled Cheese! – WWTDD

Okay, so Gigi Hadid’s mega camel toe is something that I saw today – Egotastic!

And speaking of Gigi Hadid, she walked the Fendi show in Milan and looked like a fairy caca’d on her lips while doing so – The Nip Slip 

The teaser trailers for the Ghost in the Shell trailer are here – OMG Blog

Britain is dealing with Brexit and now it’s gotta deal with Berxit – Pajiba

Katie Price’s DuPont chichis are looking magnificent. That swamp weave, however… – Hollywood Tuna 

The Cheetolings scared Brit Brit – Popsugar

I am only for this if Magnum P.I.’s daughter’s stache is as luxurious as her daddy’s – Just Jared

Pic: Getty

Brad Pitt hasn’t released any kind of statement about the accusation that he went all Daddie Dearest on a private jet and he may not anytime soon. Lainey is hearing that he’s afraid that anything he says may come back to kick him in the b-hole, because there may be other stories and receipts coming out. But Brad doesn’t have to talk since a source close to him is talking to People, and I refuse to believe the source is Jacques Jolie-Pitt.

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“Hamdog” sounds like the name of a sexual position that involves Jon Hamm splitting you in two with his Hammaconda as he does you doggy style. But over in Australia, a “Hamdog” is what happens when a hot dog meets a hamburger at a hot spot (the grill), sweet talks it, gets between those beef patties and goes in good. Three seconds after that picture was taken, that Hamdog was covered with mayonnaise. And yes, I’m actually writing food porn. It’s come to this.

The Mercury says that the godfather of the Hamdog is Mark Murray from Perth and he got a US patent for his creation in 2009. Mark took the Hamdog to the Australian Shark Tank last year, but the sharks didn’t recognize a phallic culinary masterpiece when they saw one. Mark didn’t get one offer. But those sharks are going to smother their words all over a Hamdog and eat them up, because Mark is selling it for $8 (around 6 USD) at fairs all over Australia. Mark’s also selling franchise rights for $10,000 and he’s hoping to make vegan, gluten-free and vegetarian versions of the Hamdog soon. Here’s a little video of Mark’s team making Hamdogs. THIS is Brit Brit Spears’ porn:

If Mark ever brings it to the US, he’s going to have to do it bigger than that. That is way too simple for us. That’s a light snack! He’s going to have to give us the Hamdog-mozzabacoring, which is a hot dog and a mozzarella stick DPing a hamburger patty as crisp pieces of bacon fuck onions rings on top of them. We need a whole orgy in our mouth. With that being said, I’d still eat that hot dog as it does sex with that hamburger. Hot dog hamburger sex probably tastes delicious.

UsWeekly says that Adam Levine’s model wife Behati Prinsloo finally gave birth to their baby yesterday in California. UsWeekly doesn’t have many details. Like there’s no word on whether or not Baby Levine came out with a couple random tattoos that it got in the womb while it was waiting to be born (it does have its daddy’s DNA after all). Neither Adam nor Behati have confirmed they had a kid by Instagramming a picture of Baby Levine holding Behati’s finger or tweeting a shout-out to the baby wipe brand who dropped off the most cases of product. “Big ups 2 @Pampers for their mad poop-removal skills!”

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