Sorry Toronto’s CN Tower, but it looks like you won’t be lighting up in pink and red to announce the marriage of your Prince to his Princess any time soon.

Back in May, there were rumors that Drake and Rihanna had been humping each other for several months. They sort-of confirmed that rumor a bunch of times throughout the summer. They went to clubs together. Drake made a joke about knocking Rihanna up. Drake went full Jared commercial while presenting her with the Video Vanguard Award at MTV VMAs. They even brought ten tons of So In Love couple realness on stage during tour stops. Sadly, Drake never got the chance to gross out his family members by romantically feeding forkfuls of gravy-soaked turkey to Rihanna at Canadian Thanksgiving Dinner over the weekend.

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Oooh, the stud finder worked! – CookieMonsterDory

Upvote winner:

Homo Improvement. – FluffKitteh 

Pic: Tosh.0

Oscar, the opera-howling Golden Retriever whose smooth and melodic howls will delicately hug your eardrums and soothe your splintery soul.

Placido Domingo. Luciano Pavarotti. Andrea Bocelli. Golden Voice. Rick Astley. And now, Oscar the Opera Dog has joined them as one of the GREATEST MALE SINGUHS IN DA WORLD! One of Oscar’s humans, Michael Baker, uploaded a short video of Oscar transforming into Placidog Domingo (or Luciano Paw-varotti, or Andrea Bone-celli) after hearing The Prayer on the piano. Michael Baker wrote in the description of the YouTube video that every time his mom plays a certain part of The Prayer, the music grabs a hold of his vocal cords and gently pulls exquisite howls out of him.

My dog Oscar always howls when my mom plays this part of “The Prayer” on the piano so we decided to catch him on video. He only howls during this part of the song, and so far it has only worked for this song. I thought I would share with the world because my family thinks it’s hilarious.

Here’s the clip of Oscar the Opera Dog making beautiful music, and I’m sure it’s already #1 on the iTunes classical music chart. If you translated Oscar’s dog howls to English, he may be singing: “For the love of doooooog, tune that pi-aaaaaah-nooooOOoooo.” Whatever the case, Oscar can truly hold a note like no other!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPpsCNd_TP0

Bravo! Bellissimo! Espressione! I would throw a bouquet of milk bones at the screen, but I’ll save that bouquet for when I take my ass to NYC to see Oscar the Dog make his Carnegie Hall (or Carnegie Deli, while it’s still open) debut!

via Uproxx

Luke Perry (50)
Cardi B (24)
Michelle Trachtenberg (31)
Gabe Saporta (37)
Trevor Donovan (38)
Matt Bomer (39)
Emily Deschanel (40)
Jay McCarroll (42)
MC Lyte (46)
Constance Zimmer (46)
Stephen Moyer (47)
Jane Krakowski (48)
Artie Lange (49)
Sean Patrick Flanery (51)
Lenny James (51)
Joan Cusack (54)
Dawn French (59)
Stephen Spinella (60)
David Morse (63)
Daryl Hall (70)
Amitabh Bachchan (74)

Pic: Pinterest

Shailene Woodley got arrested today for protesting the Dakota Access Pipeline in Sioux County, North Dakota. Shailene! How are you going to sunbathe your vagina if you’re locked up in the chokey? And now I suddenly have the image of Shailene lying on the floor of her prison cell with her legs up while trying to coochie-catch a little bit of sunshine coming through her window – HuffPo

Usain Bolt and Harry Styles went to the same club on the same night, which means they either just went to the same club on the same night, or they partied together, or they’re fucking. I’m a fan of reasonable scenarios, so I’m going with the third –  Lainey Gossip 

A few former Secret Service agents have found themselves going from protecting the President of the United States to protecting the President of Fame Whores – Reality Tea 

Rita Ora is serving “hooker at a third-tier bordello on Halloween night” glamour – Drunken Stepfather

In case you were wondering, yes, Jon Voight is still a delusional mess – Celebitchy

Pete Campbell as Colonel Sanders looks like the white-haired baby of Buddy Holly and k.d. lang – The Superficial 

Kanye West looks so sad in this old promo pic with a topless Lady Gaga, and probably because the photographer wouldn’t let him take his top off too. And his chichis are definitely bigger and juicier than Gaga’s! – (NSFW) The Nip Slip 

The name James Hill is as foreign to me as proper grammar, but he’s now one of my favorite celebrities thanks to two words: HARD PEEN!!!! – (NSFW) OMG Blog

Sara Ramirez came out as bi – Towleroad

Wonder Woman is giving me tons of fucking sequins – Popoholic

Someone needs to introduce Bella Thorne and her hickey to a frozen spoon – Hollywood Tuna

Disney thinks that what we really need is a non-traditional and edgy live-action Aladdin movie directed by Guy Ritchie – Popsugar

Ginger Spice is having a second baby. She named her first kid (Bluebell Madonna) after an ice cream brand and a pop star, and if she does that with her second, I hope she goes with Talenti Martika – Just Jared

Lifetime has already shot the umbrella scene for their Brit Brit Spears biopic and it looks like they got it all wrong. Honestly, I’d be more worried about Lifetime if they actually got it right. They’ve turned getting it wrong into an art form!  – IDLYITW

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! – Jezebel

Pic: Facebook

Like any of the other Hot Slut of the Days stood one chance. Jacques Jolie-Pitt, the Sharp Boombox and Robby LaRiviere from Logo’s Finding Prince Charming were absolutely no match against the power of Bernice Starnes!

Bernice Starnes is the 85-year-old President of the Bronx’s chapter of the Not The One Society, and she stole all of our dead hearts last month when she spit out some fighting words for the bitch who stole her purse as she sat in her wheelchair outside of her apartment building. Bernice said back then that she’d love to beat that bitch who stole her purse (and you know her wig game would stay tight while she did it). Bernice hasn’t gotten to do that yet, but she did beat the shit out of her other HSOTD competitors and now she’s our reigning Hot Slut of the Month.

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