The fuck effort “Hillary Clinton” in the weird fever dream Clinton attack ad. 

Future 45 is a pro-Jabba the Trump political action committee that’s got billionaire money behind it and they’ve been spending millions of dollars on Hillary Clinton attack ads that air nationally. With the election FINALLY (and hopefully) ending tomorrow, Future 45’s asshole has been real busy, farting up ad after ad. When FBI director James Comey dramatically declared that they were putting their magnifying glasses over new e-mails that may have been relevant to the Clinton case, Future 45 rushed out an ad about it. But as we all know, Future 45 wasted their money, because James Comedy (typo and it stays) announced yesterday that they didn’t find shit in those e-mails and he proved that he’s that ex-boyfriend who calls you to say, “I think I may have Hepatitis B,” and a week later, after you’ve chewed your fingers down to stubs, tells you, “Just kidding! I don’t!”

Future 45 wasted their funds with that ad, but the $2.99 (and I’m being generous) they spent on making this weird masterpiece of an ad was worth every penny. This ad is a train wreck in every single way. “Hillary Clinton” kills a server with a sledgehammer, destroys a laptop, makes mouth love to a tool, gets high from sniffing bleach and pulls out a chainsaw. Their “Hillary Clinton” looks more like a bottom tier Amy Schumer look-alike and that flammable rayon wig looks like three 99 Cent Store Donald Trump costume wigs that were sloppily glued together. The trick who came up with this work of pure fuckery must have sniffed a whole lot of that bleach.

If they ever get around to making that Expendabelles movie, Chainsaw Hillary needs to be the leader of that team.

Judy Tenuta (60)
Lorde (20)
Bethany Mota (21)
Reid Ewing (28)
Adam Devine (33)
Krystal Harris (35)
Mark Philippoussis (40)
Melyssa Ford (40)
Yunjin Kim (43)
Jason London (44)
Jeremy London (44)
Donny Thompson (45)
Morgan Spurlock (46)
Michelle Clunie (47)
David Guetta (49)
Sharleen Spiteri (49)
Tommy Thayer (56)
Christopher Knight (59)
Lindsay Duncan (66)
Joni Mitchell (73)
Barry Newman (78)
Judy Parfitt (81)

Pic: JudyTenuta.com

Here’s a video of “The World’s Hottest Math Teacher,” Pietro Boselli, taking his shirt on and off as many times as he can, within one minute. I’m not sure what the educational value of this exercise is, but that’s not a complaint. This is the kind of learning that would have made me WAY more enamored of education if I had been taught in this fashion. Seriously, I would have probably been able to pass Algebra II if this dude was up at the dry-erase board.

There is one obvious flaw in his lesson plan, though. Why stop at the t-shirt? It would be FAR more challenging if he had repeatedly taken off his pants, too. You need to be in it to win it, Pietro. I’ll wait while you fix your mistake and record a second version.

Check out Pietro losing his shirt over and over below!

Expert-opinion-offerer Wendy Williams opened her show the other day with a full-on verbal exposé on Blac Chyna and Rob Kardashian’s relationship as well as their impending storyline baby.

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Amidst a week of even more negative revelations on both sides of the presidential election aisle (we’ll get to those in a moment), Saturday Night Live put on their final Donald Trump/Hillary Clinton cold open before election day on Tuesday. It was a little different than the usual “Trump is repugnant and clueless” and “Hillary is way desperate and thirsty” schtick.

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The Quiverfull movement had reason to rejoice anew yesterday. A new Duggar baby portal was officially dedicated. By that, I mean Jinger Duggar got married, and it’s only a matter of time before her uterus is bringing forth multitudes to continue her family’s quest to overrun the planet.

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