Do you like hazelnut? Are you currently in Italy? If you’re both of those things, you are right now racing that ass to your nearest McDonald’s Italia! Buzzfeed reports that they’ve debuted the Sweety Nutella burger! It’s a dessert burger that consists of a big heaping serving of Nutella, sandwiched between two sweet buns.

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Finding Prince Charming was the Logo network’s version of The Bachelor. The only difference being that “the bachelor” in this case is Robert Sepúlveda Jr., a gay dude looking for other dudes. You could consider it a success in that it proved to the viewers at home that gay guys en masse could and can be just as demented, thirsty and messy as any other reality television social grouping. Then again, it was Logo, so there were probably only (a few) gay guys watching. And we already knew that.

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One of the more private and publicity-shunning celebrity couples has reportedly set a wedding date. Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton will marry on May 5, 2017 at the Church of the Good Shepard in Beverly Hills. Allegedly. This news comes from In Touch, so let’s approach it with caution. There could be a follow-up story in which we learn that, in a shocking twist, Gwen has asked Marilyn to be one of her bridesmaids. What I’m typing is that your mileage may vary on this one.

This date is a little later than “by the end of the year” which is when USWeekly and TMZ had them getting hitched. Will it be a subtle, intimate ceremony without any corporate sponsorship, tie-in episode of The Voice, or a full pictorial spread in People that hits the stands exactly one day later? If by “subtle” and “intimate,” you mean “three million-dollar ceremony with 400 guests.” Come to think of it, that IS sort of “subtle” and “intimate” for a celebrity pairing. A harried Jinger Duggar just looked over from writing 1,000 thank-you notes and longed for “subtle” and “intimate.” And she’s got to haul ass on those so she can get to being pregnant!

Gwen and Blake merged musical genres roughly one year ago after each of their marriages drove over cliffs, hit the rocks below, and exploded into nothingness. Since then, they’ve broadcast every moment of their relationship to the world via social media, letting the paparazzi know ahead of time if they’ll be out in public together, and, of course, sappy shit like performing songs together. Why aren’t I also receiving a daily e-mail keeping me apprised of their every action together as a couple? Where can I sign up for that?

Pic: WENN

Pink dressed up like a pregnant Stevie Nicks to announce her second pregnancy on Instagram. As far as I know, the White-Winged Dove herself doesn’t have any children. So this is an opportunity to see what that baby might have looked like. Either that or you can use it as a visualization of Stevie after having taken part in too many Burrito Dreams at her self-styled Fajita Round-Up restaurant. Btw, I’m referencing my favorite SNL impression of all time.

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SNL played it somewhat somber for their cold open last night. A bordering-on-tears Kate McKinnon (done up as her signature impression – the newly defeated Hillary Clinton) performed the late Leonard Cohen’s signature tune “Hallelujah” solo on the piano. She closed the song by turning to the cameras, tears surfacing in her eyes, and haltingly said “I’m not giving up, and neither should you.” It looks like we’ll have to wait until next for Alec Baldwin as Trump trying to seduce the White House lunch lady while mispronouncing “apologize” and “China.”

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The Ding Dong foil wrapper of the olden days!

Do you remember where you were when you opened up a box of Ding Dongs and discovered that the shiny, glorious and fancy aluminum foil wrapper had been blasphemously replaced with a basic bitch plastic wrapper?! Since the memory chip in my brain is corroded and crusted over, I don’t remember. But I’m sure I screamed, “YOU ARE NOT MY DING DONG!”, when I held that boring white plastic-covered Ding Dong and learned that it no longer looked like a gleaming hockey puck. The foil-wrapped Ding Dong was a beacon of pure deliciousness that lit up a flame of excitement in a person and let them know that they were about to feast on some diabetes-inducing processed goodness. Hostess killed dreams when it retired it.

When I was a little kid, the gifts I gave my mom for Christmas (aka the stuff I stole from her bedroom to give back to her since I didn’t have a job) were wrapped in foil, because that shit was fancy to me. So the foil-wrapped Ding Dong looked like a gorgeous gift in my young eyes.

There are petitions on the internet that beg for Hostess to do what’s right and bring back the foil-wearing Ding Dong (side note: “foil-wearing Ding Dong” sounds like a cutesy name for a conspiracy theorizing peen), because like most things, Ding Dongs are just better when they’re wrapped in foil.

Never forget foil-wrapped Ding Dongs, they were the Becky #1 of their time.

Pic: Banal Leakage, Pinterest