The dad who went crazy and brought some wild sex moves to the San Antonio Spurs vs. Houston Rockets game at the AT&T Arena in San Antonio on Wednesday night! 

They are definitely putting something in the light beer at basketball games. There also must’ve been a full ass moon on Wednesday night, and when you mix together a full moon and a spiked light beer, you get mom and dad getting the itch and scratching it hard. Yesterday’s HSOTD was a mom who nearly blew the Oracle Arena off of its foundation when she shot out some next-level dance moves during a Warriors game. And today’s HSOTD is the Fred Astaire to her Ginger Rogers.

ESPN’s Instagram page posted a short, but cavity-inducing sweet clip of a Spurs fan who let the beat (or whatever he’s hearing) fill his body and fuel raw the sex show he gave the people. The people were obviously temporarily paralyzed by the sexiness coming their way, because none of them did what they should’ve been doing: throwing money, jewelry, credit cards and concession stand coupons at this untamed dance beast of charisma. No one can and will stop him. Dude did what I do when my drunk ass is really in heat at the club. He dropped, threw them legs up and presented that ass to the world before running off into the night.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BMrcc5sj4pW/?taken-by=espn

That man in the headset and tie will never ever be the same again. The things he has seen will haunt him forever, and you know what, I doubt he minds.

Ryan Gosling (36)
Omarion (32)
Anne Hathaway (34)
Cote de Pablo (37)
Ashley Williams (38)
Tevin Campbell (40)
Lourdes Benedicto (42)
Tamala Jones (42)
Radha Mitchell (43)
Ethan Zohn (43)
Mayte Garcia (43)
Tonya Harding (46)
Craig Parker (46)
Kathleen Hanna (48)

Sammy Sosa (48)

Nadia Comaneci (55)

Megan Mullally (58)

Karen Ziemba (59)

Neil Young (71)

Wallace Shawn (73)
Grace Kelly (1929-1982)

Pic: Buzzfeed

And when Ashley Olsen and her newest old dude boyfriend kissed, everyone around them nearly got heatstroke from the passionate heat shooting off of them. They’ve got the heat of a cold piece of bologna kissing on a pretentious dead fish – Lainey Gossip

Lily Collins and her furry boomerang eyebrow situation were in a magazine – Drunken Stepfather

The moral of the story is, ginger does a career good! – Celebitchy

Auntie Amber Rose met Blac Chyna’s adorable ATM – Drunken Stepfather 

Reggie Bush’s knocked up side piece is a gold digging genius – WWTDD

Chrissy Teigen’s chichis went for a stroll – The Superficial

Natalie Portman went to the Israeli Film Festival in a dress that looks like it was made from a bunch of tallits – Popoholic

Two things: Another season of Big Brother is happening right now. And they asked if they could stay in there for the next 4 years after finding out who their future POTUS will be. Do they have room for another? – Towleroad

Not pictured: All of the UGGs-wearing Gilmore Girls stans dropping their Pumpkin Spice Lattes to worship at the feet of their goddesses – IDLYITW

The tattoos don’t match up, but whatever, after this week, I’ll gladly eat up pictures of this reality dude’s Subway foot-long dick – (NSFW) OMG Blog

Michelle Obama covered Vogue for the third time – Popsugar

One of the Cheetah Girls got married – Just Jared

Pic: Getty

Well, at least one election that happened this month wasn’t a total apocalypse-summoning diarrhea show.

Our 10th Hot Slut of the Month showdown of 2016 is over and in the end, Lt. Deuntay Diggs, Rocky’s Gold Speedo and K-Mac McConaughey are the ones who were left having to give a concession speech. (And in case you’re wondering, every one of their concession speeches went like this, “Fuck all you, bitches.” Or maybe, every one of their concession speeches went like this, “Thank you for sparing me from the embarrassment of being a Hot Slut of the Month.”) Ana Navarro, one of the bright spots of this dreadful election, easily beat all of them and is now our reigning HSOTM.

Ana won the popular vote with 41% and behind her were Lt. Deuntay (22%), Rocky’s Gold Speedo (19%) and K-Mac McConaughey (18%). Ana will now go on to shank fight the other HSOTMs in the Hot Slut of the Year battle royale in January.

As for what Ana thinks of  the torched ball of scabs becoming our new president, she joked on CNN the next day that she hadn’t been deported yet and said that another nightmare is about to begin. The tiny bit of good news is that we’ll have another four years of Ana, hopefully, doing this:

So, there’s that. And thanks to everyone who voted!

Pic: Getty

“Oh MY Satan, me too, me too, all the time!” screeched out the fourth Kartrashian sister (in her head) Pimp Mama Kris.

Ryan Phillippe is 42 years old, but he’s still a PT (passable twink) and looks like he smears his mug with the same kind of blended fetuses that Keanu Reeves does. Because Ryan looks like he’s aaaaalmost young enough to get a special invitation to one of Bryan Singer’s pool parties, some people think he’s his 17-year-old daughter’s brother instead of her dad. Ryan was on The Late Late Show (via People) the other night and told James Corden that every time someone thinks he and his daughter Ava Phillippe are brother and sister, she gets the heaves.

“My daughter gets embarrassed sometimes by the fact that I do look so young and I get mistaken for her brother sometimes. Which repulses her! Like, absolutely repulses her that anyone could mistake me for her brother.”

For reference, here’s a picture from last year of Ava (on the left) with Laura Jeanne Poon (on the right):

It could be a lot worse for Ava. If they didn’t look like almost twins in the face, people may say to them, “Aw, what a cute couple you too make,” and that would probably make her cringe so hard that she’d develop deep, deep wrinkles in her face and then everyone would mistake her for her dad’s mom!

Pics: Wenn.com, Getty

TMZ says that the status of Patrick Dempsey’s marriage has been upgraded from “critical” to “stable.”

Almost 22 months ago, Patrick’s wife Jillian Dempsey got tired of him being a dick and filed divorce papers to end their (then) 15-year marriage. Then a year ago, there was word that they put off plans to divorce. Cupid must have replaced his arrows with Spanish Fly-dipped blow darts and paid Patrick and Jillian a couple extra visits between then and now, because she has recently filed documents asking for her divorce petition to be dismissed. TMZ says a week after she filed, a court threw the divorce out. So Patrick and Jillian are officially not splitting up.

Patrick and Jillian have three kids together, so this also means there will be no messy custody fight. Jillian has been dropping hints they’re still together by posting pictures of Patrick on Instragram.

But what brought them back together? I assumed that their reunion was the result of Patrick reforming his asshole attitude after receiving a reality check in the form of getting killed off Grey’s or successfully passing Jillian’s on-set side piece sniff test. TMZ says it came down to Patrick keeping a promise he made not to spend so much time racing cars. Well, that’s just great for Patrick and Jillian. Sadly, this also means there’s a whole bunch of heartbroken race cars out there who are weeping motor oil tears over the news that Patrick has chosen his wife over them. Even though he swore he was getting a divorce. Those poor cars. And don’t tell me those cars don’t care. I’ve seen Pixar’s Cars, I know cars have feelings.

Pic: Wenn.com