I Really Hope Gwen Stefani Got A Giant Bonus For This Sappy Shit

As totally expected, Gwen Stefani, the badass rebel of the high school who wears black nail polish and has an anarchy patch on her bomber jacket, and Blake Shelton, the hillbilly badass of the high school who has Truck Nutz on his F-150 and got suspended for sneaking a beer into an assembly, cemented their weird ass union in song.

Gwen and Blake made the anti “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” with a duet called “Go Ahead And Break My Heart.” Elton John and Kiki Dee are so not amused. The song is on Blake’s new album If I’m Honest, and it’s about a trick who uses another trick to get over a breakup, but they fall in love with that trick and are scared and shit and blah blah… It’s so real life! Gwen and Blake performed their duet on The Voice last night. If you’re a cynical, bitter bitch like me, but want to see their performance, make sure you hold onto your eyeballs right after pressing play, because their natural reaction will be to roll.

Gwen, what are you doing?! To quote my friend when I agreed to go to a 3-hour-long church organ recital with my boyfriend-at-the-time because he asked me to: “I hope the dick is good, because that’s a deal breaker.”

That duet is just… I’d rather watch Gwen and Blake make out all sloppy-like while wearing matching outfits as they sit on the same side in a 4-person restaurant booth. That would be less heave-inducing to me. Why don’t you go ahead and break my nerves, you two!

And here’s THAT couple at the Angry Birds premiere in L.A. over the weekend:

Pics: Splash