Who is the greatest diva of all? This is a question that has haunted man since Cher warbled her first note to Sonny Bono. Answers from Celine Dion to Simon Cowell to your cousin Brandy have been given, but no one has yet reached the ultimate heights of divadom…until now. The current crop of divas can’t hold a candle to the wind to Elton the golden retriever! Like most dogs, Elton loves a good walk but what sets him apart from the rest is his desire, nay…DEMAND to have his paws washed after every stroll through the park. Take notes, Mariah. This is how you diva!

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You’d think that after a month of playing with a new toy that spoiled billionaire Elon Musk would have gotten bored and moved on to something else to waste his time on. Maybe “manage” his two other businesses? Nah! The man who proved that money can’t buy you cool is still wiling his time away on Twitter, hoping that Nathan Fielder will see it and become his best friend. Shockingly, the only people Elon is managing to befriend throughout this fiasco are far right-winger messes. And due to the increase in hate speech and ugly content, some users believe that this might lead to Twitter being kicked off of Google and Apple’s app stores. But the meme-stealing CEO has a plan for that eventuality: he’ll make his own phone! Please, Elon, stop “fixing” things and go hang out with your kids or something!

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With the holidays in full swing, it’s prime traveling season. Whether by plane, train, or automobile, people are packing the essentials for traveling to their families. Some pack gifts, some pack extra valium, and others inadvertently pack cats. This was stupidly the case last week when a cat named Smells (yes, Smells!) was found trapped inside luggage headed for Orlando, Florida. We are all aware that cats can squeeze into anything, but I would believe people are also aware that we shouldn’t stuff them into carry-on suitcases!

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While you were stuffing your face with mashed potato in a valiant effort to prevent yourself from letting loose at your conspiracy theory-spouting uncle, other people were having sexy Thanksgivings. Pete Davidson and Emily Ratajkowski were spotted together at a Friendsgiving, adding fuel to the rumors that they are indeed a thing (you’ll just have to wait your turn, Martha Stewart!). It’s all part of Pete’s never-ending cycle of hooking up with starlets who need a little PR bump because Instagram just isn’t pulling in the numbers anymore.

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