Open Post: Hosted By Gym Bros Eating Dog Food For Protein
Going to the gym is hard. You gotta find the right place that meets your needs, find the right time to go, figure out the right workout routine, and eat the right foods to support your healthy lifestyle. The rewards, like a better quality of life, are pretty cool, but sometimes waking up at 6 am to go to a spin class where an impossibly fit lady with a serial killer smile shouts at you to go faster makes you second guess if it’s all worth it. That is if you’re normal. Other people like to make their fitness life as harrowing as possible. Take, for instance, “fitness influencers” who decided that because of the high levels of protein in it, dog food would be a good option for gym gains. It’s like the Tide Pod thing but instead of Zoomers, it’s gym bros.
Gwyneth Paltrow Clarifies That She Eats More Than Bone Broth
To some, wellness means caring for your mind, body, and soul and approaching things with a balanced mindset. To others, it means an opportunity to lord over those peons who gorge on the recommended intake of 2000 calories a day and don’t have a team of on-call skincare specialists! Gwyneth Paltrow recently shared the secret to how she manages to stay so thin, pleasant and grounded: bone broth and coffee. Unfortunately, GOOP naysayers came for her, saying ludicrous things like “you can’t stay alive just eating broth” and “this is giving eating disorder.” Gwyneth shot back at haters saying to get the rectal ozone stick out of their asses because, ACTUALLY, she eats human food sometimes!
Open Post: Hosted By Jenny The Donkey Enjoying Her Peaceful Life Away From The Oscars
With all the talk of a bunch of Irish people getting recognition in this year’s Oscars, let’s not forget who the real star of Ireland actually is: Jenny the donkey! Jenny stole the show in the critically acclaimed The Banshees of Inisherin, which is up for nine Oscars tonight. She played Colin Farrell’s best friend in the film and won over everyone’s hearts. Now that Jenny is a bona fide STAH, has fame gone to this beast of burden’s head? Nope! Jenny is just enjoying the simple life in a secret location in the Irish midlands. If only other actors would take a page from Jenny’s book.
“Blonde” Named Worst Picture At The Razzies
It’s OSCUH Day!! Who is going to be crowned prom king and queen of Hollywood? We only have a scant few hours to find out. In the meantime, the Academy Awards’ ugly sister the Razzies has already taken place, so we finally know who got the pig’s blood dropped on them. And the winner is…Blonde! I wonder if Ana de Armas and the film crew told Marilyn Monroe’s grave that they were getting her blessing for making the worst film of 2022.
Open Posted: Hosted By A Cat And A Racoon Dramatically Facing Off
Cats vs. dogs. Cats vs. mice. Cats vs. cats. Cats vs. you any time you don’t feed them at the exact second they’re hungry. Yes, cats have many, MANY nemeses. Just look at one sideways, and you’ve made an enemy for life. That’s what a raccoon recently experienced when scavenging for food around a home in Canada. Rather than coming across a tipped-over trash can with half-eaten Hungry Man meals inside, the raccoon came face to face with Lily, the feline ruler of the house. Only a glass door stood between the two foes. Who won the dramatic standoff? (The cat, obviously).
Tiger Woods Is “Livid” Over His Ex-Girlfriend Erica Herman’s Lawsuit Against Him
For a golfer, Tiger Woods has the drama-filled life of a Vanderpump Rules mess. In addition to his very famous breakup with ex-wife Elin Nordegren over a decade ago, Tiger has kept his name in the news thanks to pills, Trump, a very dramatic car accident caused by Tiger’s lead foot, and most recently, a “prank” involving a tampon. Now, he’s gotten into some legal problems with his ex-girlfriend Erica Herman who claims that he kicked her out of the house despite having come to an “oral agreement” that said differently. You’d hope after Elin, he would’ve learned to keep his love life as boring as the game of golf, but I guess he lives for drama!